Advance payments for a possible future construction site

This is an age in which all directions of development are still open: in seven years you might be overtaken – think of Schober from the Sparkasse commercial – but also in twelve years you could be doing something completely different (really much more different than what the Monty Pythons call "completely different").

I don’t understand why people always harp on singles about the possibility that they might maybe someday find the partner for life or will "definitely" reorient themselves professionally.

If he (or is the OP a she?) were already married and had children, nobody would talk about it. But we all know that a marriage can also end quickly (even if not everyone has personal experience with it).

Since my twenties, I have had the dream of owning a little house. Back then I was still single, but that wouldn’t have stopped me from buying/building a house. If eventually the woman for life comes along, there would be enough space in the house. Unfortunately, what kept me from it back then was my rather low salary.

Now I’m in my thirties, earn significantly more, and have found the woman for life; the house will be built next year.

What I want to say with this is: listen to what you yourself want. Of course, the potential future partner then has to be willing to compromise if you already have the little house standing there. But that should be the least of your problems.

I would definitely walk over the property and see where a building site presents itself without moving excessive amounts of earth or building roads. The first part should also be solvable with a good eye. Then I would roughly measure this area using a hose level, because estimating slopes by eye is rubbish. Once you have picked a spot, check with your grandparents whether the piece is okay. If any cousins are also hoping for it, make sure this is cleared up before you are gifted the property. With the rough plan, I would go to the municipality and get something in writing that you are actually allowed to build there and what conditions they envisage. Then divide the property and have it gifted so that facts are created. Otherwise, you run the risk that in 2 years the property belongs to an inheritance community of all uncles and aunts who suddenly have other plans ;)

After that, I would let the matter rest for a while and see if you actually return to the area. With a building plot, you would have already overcome the first big hurdle to building a house.

I don't understand why people always harp on singles about the possibility that maybe one day they might find the partner for life or "for sure" change their career. [...] What I mean to say is: Listen to what you yourself want. Of course, the potential future partner must then be willing to compromise if you already have the little house standing there. But that should be the least of your problems.

Why must the partner be willing to compromise over a childhood dream and bachelor pad? And that is supposed to be the least of your problems? The more correct option is – the thing can also be sold or rented out if a family and a home of their own should be in the cards.

Why does the partner have to be willing to compromise on a childhood dream and bachelor pad? And that should then be the least of the problems?

Because that is a classic conflict: the woman moves onto the property that belonged to the parents-in-law. It is not uncommon for the parents-in-law then to believe they can interfere forever. After all, it is their property, and she is the newcomer. It becomes even more "classic" if the new house is within sight of the parents-in-law. Many women will seek to get away early. Do you still remember the pianist from the forum?

It gets even more "classical" when the new house is within sight of the parents-in-law. Many women tend to leave early in such cases.
Do you still remember the pianist from the forum?

The pianist was active again a few days ago. But I am not sure if it was the pianist among the women who fled – there was at least one other questioner at the time who was suspected to be identical with him (so the memories are a bit blurred there).

So I think the laser idea is a great first idea. I might be able to borrow such a laser for free for a weekend from one of the two mentioned (base plate, excavation company). The property is not within sight of the parents' house. Which at least takes part of the possible issues off the table (Also, my parents are not the kind to interfere much, at least it has never felt that way to me). The only other possible co-heir would be my sister, who already lives in the parents' house with her husband and two children. I also see this as rather unproblematic regarding the division. I'll think about the laser thing over the next few days, and then I'll gladly get back to you :) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!