Tips before starting construction - What should you urgently pay attention to?

I mean: if everything works in the marriage, with the children, with the building site and the family around it, why should I change? It’s somehow not quite clear to me... Nowadays everyone talks about change - not standing still... Because of that, we see more and more divorces, no point in life, a careless life, constantly changing jobs and increasing dissatisfaction because people still haven’t found their place in life...

There are also things that happen in life that you cannot influence.
Child planning, for example. Or illnesses. Or a lottery win, who knows.
We are both civil servants and like stability, but life sometimes simply writes a different story than you think beforehand. Even if you don’t want that, a little flexibility never hurts. :)

There are also things that happen in life that you cannot influence. Child planning, for example. Or illnesses. Or a lottery win, who knows. We are both civil servants and value stability, but life sometimes simply writes a different story than you think beforehand. Even if you don't want that, a little flexibility never hurts. :)

Exactly - you are completely right, I see it the same way!

However, these are all things I do not want out of my own interest, but rather blows of fate or insufficient prior planning, etc. - anything can happen!

Nevertheless, I want to plan my house as well as possible for the LONG TERM and not have to say: "we planned everything properly so far – but it could definitely have been done better if we had dealt more intensively with this and that." That’s actually what it’s about :) In other words: getting the best out of it because we definitely see this house as our future permanent home and not as a property that can be sold off someday (like many other builders probably do, which is totally fine – then I understand a “different” planning regarding intensity/effort).

Exactly - you are absolutely right, I see it the same way!

However, these are all things that I do not want out of my own interest, but rather strokes of fate or insufficient planning, etc. - anything can happen!

Nevertheless, I want to plan my house as well as possible in the LONG TERM and not have to say: "we planned everything properly so far - but it could certainly have been done better if we had dealt more intensively with this and that." That's basically what it's about for me :) In other words: getting the best out of it, since we definitely see this house as our future permanent home and not as a property that can be sold off at some point (like many other builders certainly do, which is totally fine - in that case I understand a "different" planning in terms of intensity/effort)

You can't plan a house in such a way that it fits one hundred percent for the next fifty years. You simply lack the crystal ball for that. That's what I think 11ant is getting at.

Maybe we are overthinking things because we want to do everything "perfectly."

Don't know if it has already been mentioned, I think had already implied something about the coach's bench in that direction.... Believing or rather clinging to the idea that everything has to run perfectly and that you achieve perfection through planning down to the smallest detail is perhaps - from my perspective - one of the biggest mistakes you can make. At least if you want to get through the construction with a reasonably intact nervous system. Those who say everything was perfect, in my opinion, simply have the talent not to see small details as dramatic mistakes. Something is always off. I have already seen some things coming during the shell construction... and I am a total layman in construction. Still, I thought during some processes, this won't work or this will cause problems, etc. If I had run around pointing out each of these things saying, "Alright, now look here, what kind of chaos you have caused," we still wouldn't be finished today. And it wouldn't be any better because of that either. Some things you have to take as they come... or you have nerves of steel.

My view at over 60. Two houses. The first house was a terraced house and was bought as it was from the developer, it was almost finished at the time of purchase. It was an economic decision. We could afford it, and for four people, our children were still quite small, it was well laid out and nicely located centrally to school, market, harbor, supermarkets. So, take it as it is or leave it. All in all, it wasn’t so bad. Just the stupid stairs. A terraced house always has little ground area but goes up high. When the children... and we can afford it... then a bungalow. All on one level. Plus a proper garden. Not just a little patch. 2017 was the time, the right plot, a market already doing well economically but not overheated yet, still affordable prices, good proceeds from the terraced house. Again, economics had a say. At almost 60 back then you don’t go into big debts anymore. The money available had to be enough, or at least almost enough, a little credit might be okay. So we made compromises here and there again, but not in function and basic principle. I think most people build twice. Because the life phase as a couple requires a different house than before, when there were four. Karsten

@11ant - but that really depends a lot on personal preferences and attitudes. We are building in our hometown (at least according to my wife) [...] I mean: if everything is working in the marriage, with the children, with the building location and the family around, why should I change?

I live in my birthplace, with the last three apartments within walking distance, and I have several friends who are now over 50 and still happily married to their dance partners. I last moved ten years ago – at that time I was able to significantly improve myself in terms of the intellectual level of my landlords. I don’t tell anyone: “throw away hope in advance that you will like the new house for a long time,” but I recommend to everyone: “don’t rely on that” and (as passionately conservative as I am myself): “don’t fear the opportunities from changes.” Usually even a beautiful house is not worth setting all the stairlifts in the world in motion, clinging to it at all costs until the grave. Planning firmly now to set up my bed in the current study in thirty years, I would feel is too close to choosing a gravestone. But even my grandfather regularly praised the “old Fritz” for the attitude that everyone should be happy in their own way.

You can’t plan a house so that it fits one hundred percent for the next fifty years. Simply because you don’t have a crystal ball. That’s what 11ant is getting at, I think.

Exactly. A residual risk remains, and I don’t encourage anyone to willful sloppy planning. But I like to point out that the parents’ houses of today’s builders are not fundamentally worse for having been planned earlier with a lower degree of prenatal diagnostics.

If I had run to each of these things and said "So now look here at what you did to this lumbar spine," we still wouldn’t be finished today. And it wouldn’t be much better because of that either. Some things you have to take as they come… or you have nerves of steel.

Yes – that is also what I meant: when it starts, one should have a magnum of valerian tea ready, in order not to drive the construction workers crazy as a hyperactive micromanager. Most of them have learned what they do – by the way including the screed Ahmeds, who more often lack recognition of their foreign qualifications than actual training. And last but not least: decisions are not death sentences – painters live off the fact that even “anthracite” will one day go out of fashion :-)