Tips before starting construction - What should you urgently pay attention to?

that is understandable and there is nothing against such an attitude. It's just that many or most people start out with similar expectations or partly wishes. Life changes even without divorce and everywhere else, so I have my own attitude against thinking too much about the future; against too much!
When children are added, the chances/risks for necessary or desired changes multiply.

I very strongly doubt that we (unless we get divorced and completely turn our lives upside down) will ever build a house again.

Building a new house does not necessarily turn your life upside down, often it would be turned upside down if you stayed in the "old" house.

we might just approach things differently or more intensely than some other builder.

I think you don't see it correctly; for everyone, their own house building is probably a kind of "life's work."

why should I change? I don't quite understand that.

You are not supposed to, it just happens. To you, me, your wife and everyone; thus the perspective on certain things usually changes, leading to changes. I can hardly imagine today why I did some things the way I did before. Same person - totally different.

Nowadays everyone talks about change - not standing still...

I would often see that more as restlessness or being driven, something different. Change can also happen quietly.
I find it rather reassuring to know that I CAN change something if necessary, if it no longer fits into my/our life, for whatever reason.
Basically, I understand what you mean.
"Nothing is as constant as change," the old Greek Heraclitus already said, and you can tell from his name that he also came from the construction sector and therefore probably knew a thing or two about it.

with the Souther Swabian, the innate drive for property ownership adds an additional complication. My Bagaasch (bag/pouch) comes from the deepest Schwands jungle.

What do you mean by the "GU group"?

"Generalunternehmer group" on Facebook like "<> owners group."
My wife signed up there at the beginning. I’m at odds with "social media" or rather can’t really get enthusiastic about it. But in the end, I’m in there too and especially during or after the construction, you can have great discussions about certain details, etc.
We are done with the construction now, but I check in regularly and many questions come up about what is best to include in the contract or similar things.
Back then, I relied solely on googling and absorbed everything about building a house that was on the web. But some tap their knowledge from such channels – and – sometimes don’t do any worse.

There are also things that happen in life that you cannot influence. Child planning, for example. Or illnesses. Or a lottery win, who knows.

Child planning can at least be influenced quite well in one direction. After all, we are not 15-year-old secondary school students here, but adult people ;) And if I personally were to win the lottery, the house wouldn’t be the first thing I would change. You can also live in a completely normal single-family house and drive a Skoda as a millionaire (and most home builders will probably be millionaires in the next 20 years anyway ;)). Of course, if you live squeezed into a terraced house, it certainly looks different. And I think the topic of illnesses is overrated. A stairlift can already do quite a lot there. I find the question of what happens to the house if the relationship breaks down much more important in this case. With divorce rates over 40% (and presumably a similar dark figure for unmarried couples), that is a much more pressing danger than the house suddenly not suiting you anymore and not being able to be adapted reasonably.

Family planning can at least be influenced fairly well in one direction. After all, we’re not 15-year-old secondary school students here but adults ;)

But there are also cases where houses with three large children's rooms are planned and it just doesn't work out the other way. By the way, relationships often fail because of things like that. It is naive to think that you can plan and/or foresee everything.

Much more important in this case, I think, is the question of what happens to the house if the relationship falls apart.

From experience, this is influenced by different, often irrational factors, which is why it "unfortunately" cannot be predicted either. If children are involved, the rules, possibilities, and needs change drastically.

It is naive to think that you can plan and/or foresee everything.

I think so too; maybe one should foresee what would annoy them the most if they hadn’t prepared for it. That often happens to me when I read about stairlifts as a kind of cure-all. Surely they exist and that is a good thing, but I don’t know anyone personally who has one or who could have continued living their old life with it. In most cases, completely different needs arise, which cannot be solved by construction alone. As long as house prices are like they are currently, one simply has to be able to let go of the old in order to create something fitting. Not always easy, but indeed a functional option.

I mean: if everything works in the marriage, with the kids, with the building site and the family around it, why should I change? It's somehow not quite clear to me... Nowadays everyone talks about change – not standing still... Because of that we see more and more divorces, no standpoint in life, a ragged life, constantly changing jobs and increasing dissatisfaction, because people still haven't found their place in life...

Actually we only have the problem that we finally want it to start – that's probably why we are looking for something to do

Hehe... there is already the desire for change implied ;)

I would often see that rather as restlessness or being driven, so something different. Change can also happen calmly.

You said that nicely! <3

Nevertheless, I want to plan my house as well as possible FOR THE LONG TERM and not have to say: "we planned everything properly so far – but it could definitely have been done better if we had dealt with such and such things more intensively." That’s basically what it’s about for me :) In other words: to get the best out of it possible,

You can always do everything better. However, a plan also depends on financial resources. Or on the plot. How often do you stand in front of a house and ask yourself why they did it so stupidly. If you take a closer look, it’s probably due to the zoning plan or building envelope that it was built this way and not otherwise. put it so nicely: changes can happen calmly. What if you as a happy couple come up with the idea to learn tango again? Would it annoy you then not to have built a dance floor in the house where you could practice? Or with us a caravan moved onto the plot or into the family, which was never planned before: do I have to be annoyed now to arrange the plot a bit? Somehow there is a Plan B solution without having considered it in Plan A. Hobbies are so flexible and subordinate at home – but you can’t plan everything now. And not everything has to be perfectly implemented. Woulda woulda bicycle chain... always calm about it :)