Retirement provision and children's education in financing?

This is a topic that worries me much more than paying for the children's education: supporting our parents in their old age. Unlike the children, who can certainly finance their studies themselves through work, our parents' pension may indeed become a problem, especially in the event of needing care. But you can't provide for everything. We certainly can't. Personal retirement provision, support for parents in old age, and children's education... who can plan and secure that today? Certainly not us.

Although they have worked here all those years, their pension will not be much higher than Hartz4 (if you also consider the rent). For this reason, we are now speeding up the repayment of the house in order to be finished by the time our parents retire. From then on, the repayment rate goes to the parents...

That is how it is with our mother. Her pension is slightly below the H4 rate. However, she would never ever accept money from us (that led to endless discussions) and we do not want to embarrass her either, so we have now "arranged" it differently.

We drive her to go shopping and pay for it, or one of us does a bulk purchase of all basic foodstuffs as a stockpile, or if a bill comes, I take her along and pay it. That works very well and without any arguments..

And do you tell her that too if she were assigned the study place xyz in Heidelberg?

Yes, I would. Nevertheless, we would always support if we can. But at the moment I don't see that, and certainly not without our daughter putting in the effort herself.
We are doing that now, but at some point they have to stand on their own feet.
My experiences from the environment are also that those students with a silver spoon like to study for a very long time, often switch or drop out.

And to the original question; our retirement provision is now the house, a bit of Riester, VBL and the regular pension.
But we also have no problem liquidating the house later if things get tight (which I don't think will happen).

My experiences from the environment are also that those students with powdered bottoms like to study for a very long time, frequently change courses, and/or drop out.

Interesting. I did not have exactly that experience. Most of my "powdered" fellow students finished pretty quickly and also had a good plan for the time after their studies. The fellow students with practical side jobs – research assistants or jobs in economics – also had few problems. Those with typical jobs (waiting tables, trade fair jobs, etc.) had it hardest in their studies, simply because they could interact less with the others. But of course, this is highly subjective. Maybe someone knows a study about it.

The big wish-fulfillment package will not be available for my children either, but I believe that the father and I should support them enough so that they can study sensibly. That means food, a bit of a social life, and a room in a mid-sized city should be covered. For additional luxury, they can work. I am not paying for Munich, their own horse, or a one-year round-the-world trip. I experienced this myself during my studies; my parents provided the basics, and for the rest, I had a student assistant job. I think that’s okay. For the oldest child, it’s not that far away anymore, less than six years. I have to be careful that I still have the money then. Luckily, there should be hardly any overlap with both studying at the same time. I am also just starting with the house, so that has to run parallel as well.

With a school friend, the mother literally turned the pockets inside out back then (even though she was financially well off and had left the care of the grandmother at home to her daughter for years, even though she was still in school). She really had to struggle and fight. There should have been more support – my opinion.

Even the ancient Greeks knew that finding the right measure is the great art.

PS: 400€ single apartment in Jena? Maybe in the block, otherwise one nowadays probably gets a shared flat room for that... Maybe one of the two stays at home after all… But I have to plan so that another, “normal,” place of study is possible (not Munich) in case the wanderlust kicks in. Otherwise, Jena also offers many opportunities.

Another personal anecdote: It is quite interesting that I failed my first two degrees, which were practically still "paid for" by my parents, while I passed my third degree with flying colors that I did alongside my job and was paid for by my employer (so clearly more demanding). I believe it is always a matter of personality. For some people, university simply isn’t the right thing. And parents with lofty academic plans for their children often do them no favors. In this respect, it is high time that the shortage of young talent in skilled trades is also reflected monetarily as well as in appreciation and respect. Maybe then supply and demand will work out again...