Floor plan feedback single-family house for 4-5 people, 200 sqm on a 500 sqm plot in BW

This is a very tall and narrow house. At least we know what we are getting into.

I know the situation, we previously lived in a 145sqm terraced house + basement. Lots of space, yet somehow cramped and awkward.

We have been pondering for several years about how our house should look and what we expect from it.

"What you expect from it" is the right direction.

In general, a large open house and the special needs of our child unfortunately exclude each other.

Thank you very much for your openness. The special nature of your family results in architectural functional requirements to be solved. From my point of view, this makes maximum sense. A house is a shelter for the life of its occupants. It's not just about protecting your own belongings, but also about addressing the needs of every family member today and tomorrow. If the planner has not asked extensively about particular everyday situations, they are not the right one.

Hence the desire for storage space.

Understandable, but not the only possible general solution. Material choice, staircase shape, corners and edges, which "routes" exist for whom and in which situation, what kind of retreat does who need in what form (refuge / recharging strength / "short vacation from everyday life" in your own house or on the property)? What supports being together? These are all questions that need to be considered once before the first line is drawn. It may be that one says: This question is irrelevant. But better to discard some than to forget an important one. Some things can be solved with space, others cannot. You are not an average family. It is unlikely that the best solution will come from an average approach. The floor for 2 very different children + AuPair, which I praised (simple clarity), gives three different requirements the same space. If someone has food intolerances, it is good if they have a cook who is knowledgeable about food and can draw on a broad foundation of knowledge. This cook then conjures up a wonderful menu, considering the special conditions. Possibly they love this challenge and put extra effort into it. Would you go to someone about whom people say laconicly "he can cook well?" Rarely is the proper search for a suitable architect more worthwhile than with you. And regarding everyday relief during construction – here, too, it will be precisely this architect who supervises the construction site for you and ensures quality. Often HOAI architects seem too expensive; here it appears to be a very, very promising investment.

I can only agree with the words of , even though I couldn’t have put it that well myself. I would actually go back to the start and calmly look for someone who understands me and my situation and then translates this appropriately and imaginatively into planning. All of that exists and just needs to be found. I know the situation of having someone who draws a house plan and only needs a signature from past experience and wouldn’t do it again unless I already have my perfect and approval-ready floor plan.

Since family growth is now expected at least temporarily in the form of an au pair for a planned minimum of 3 years, then better to have one more room.

...not just "any - arbitrary - room more," but a consciously planned room in terms of size, function, and also connection, especially when you have a stranger living directly with you for such a long time.

Just as well live! We could just as well fence off a small area in the garden. It’s simply a matter of taste.

What I meant there was rather with a wink the balcony, which to me seemed unnecessary not only in the drawing. A balcony means significantly more costs and also an impact on the building structure. In the garden, it’s very simple and almost cost-neutral, even for pubescent boys with a campfire.

Well, there is already a large bathtub drawn in the attic. There might also be room for a bigger one. I could also imagine creating a bit more space in the upper floor bathroom by placing either a T or preferably a U shape in the bathroom, thereby limiting the necessary fixtures—shower, toilet, washbasin—to one wall. There should still be space for a large bathtub there if it is meant to go there. Especially since the wall where the bathtub is located can surely be shifted a bit under the roof slope.

Exactly that, and with correct measurements, should be drawn in by a planner so that unpleasant surprises don’t occur later in detail. I see no reason why the planner shouldn’t enter accurate measurements right away if that is an explicit wish of the clients.

Well, one of the bigger problems for us is the issue of time. Our children demand maximum attention as soon as they’re not in daycare. And the rest of the time is either working or sleeping. That’s also one of my biggest concerns: Where to find the time for the house-building project?

Exactly, and I understand that.
For this reason, I would definitely recommend looking for a new architect, specifically one with tangible references. This money will not be wasted, and such an architect could, metaphorically speaking, take you by the hand to find out your essential needs in advance. Whether it’s then a dormer or something else is, in my opinion, irrelevant; you need a house that corresponds to your individual needs (child + au pair, etc.) and makes life easier inside. No prefab house builder can do that, and maybe not even an architect within a 20 km radius, so this search will probably be the most important part of the house-building process.

I would prefer to outsource the whole thing.

...starting with the right architect, whom you might even grant freedoms in at least preselecting materials within your budget after getting to know references, which saves time and nerves because:

We probably wouldn’t even have the opportunity to go for 2 or 3 days for sampling if we were to sign with a prefab house manufacturer.

But I would see the main responsibility for the planning so far less with the planner and more with us.

I’m not talking about assigning blame here. The planner of our current house and at the same time the general contractor only had a planning tool he somewhat mastered. I have a young interior architect/architect in the extended family circle and therefore know the difference quite well, also from my previous builds. But we are two and have lots of time since the kids are out of the house, and we can design rooms according to free wishes; my wife also happily changed our floor plans probably a hundred times—it was more a hobby for us. So, we could have built in such a constellation as you have since our planner ultimately only implemented in his tool what we told him (thankfully). The real problems for you, I see, come when it gets into the details—and those are almost thousands. These countless issues, all somehow intertwined and needing to be decided, and then not having time yourself will seek some sort of outlet somewhere, which I would definitely want to prevent. My wife specialized a long time ago on the child-related topic you named, so I am familiar with it.

Don’t waste your energy on balconies, tile sizes, or whatever else—find an empathetic architect whose visible taste you also like yourself, that would be my advice, because then you can put all the upcoming questions into his/her hands.

By the way, I find your openness just as pleasant and conducive to a good discussion outcome.

In the broadest sense, this also applies to the TV (had to buy 2 new TVs in the last 2 years because the 4-year-old broke them).

If I had allowed myself that as a four-year-old (once), there would have been no more pocket money until I was thirty (so definitely also a consequence for the driver's license). Even twice is excessive, even with the current program quality. But seriously: doesn't the self-help group have any more nuanced suggestions than "just take everything out of reach that you want to keep intact"? I actually prefer "simple" planning requirements like pile foundations and am honestly at a loss for an architect recommendation. Insulating the vaulted cellar is child's play in comparison.

If I had allowed myself that once at the age of four, pocket money would not have been given again until I was thirty (so it would definitely also have had consequences for the driver's license).

What you write there I really find awful.
I know from another perspective the helplessness one can have when one's own children overwhelm you with demands. The last thing you need there is such a saying or advice.
The most respectful response I can think of is:
I am happy for you that you apparently do not even remotely know this kind of challenge.

What you write there I really find awful.

My contribution went beyond the quoted excerpt.

I know from another perspective the helplessness one can have when one’s own children overwhelm with demands. [...] I am happy for you that you apparently do not know this form of challenge even remotely.

I was a four-year-old at a completely different time and know this challenge more than just remotely, twice over. As a severely disabled civilian, I know this challenge in the comfortable variant of being able to hand it over to the next shift at the end of service and then being able to switch off privately. As an Asperger, I belong among the less severely affected insofar as I can handle overloads/meltdowns without medication and without aggressive outbursts.

But seriously: isn’t there any more differentiated suggestion from the self-help group than “simply remove everything from reach that should remain intact”?

Forgoing room layouts with few doors seems to me more like capitulation than a solution. And ...

I praise simple planning requirements like a pile foundation and, to be honest, am at a loss for an architect recommendation. Insulating the vaulted cellar is child’s play in comparison.

Problems for which there are tools in the civil engineer’s toolkit are incomparably easier to handle seriously, and I actually cannot think of architects with special education in special needs pedagogy.

Insulating the vaulted cellar, on the other hand, is a piece of cake.

I have now spoken to two architects who both specialize in old building renovations. Their unanimous verdict: old cellar plus new house: stay away from it. I will definitely not take liability for that! That screams mold hell of death. Renovate the whole house: gladly. The whole house doesn’t really fit our layout anyway.

"just put everything out of reach that you want to stay intact"

This suggestion does not come from a support group but from bitter personal experience. It is part of self-regulating behavior to destroy things. Our living room is still about half wallpapered. Toys are systematically dismantled, broken, and flushed down the toilet within an hour. Clothes also get flushed down the toilet. Everything that can roll is rolled down the street. (It’s quite steep here currently).
I mentioned two TVs... the tip of the iceberg. A person like our son does not understand sanctions. Of course, they hurt him on one level or another. But he cannot relate the consequence to his behavior. These are two completely different things and the reason why our legal system has the term "not criminally responsible."
The only other method that might work besides putting things away and locking them up would maybe be tying him up (the child). I’d rather build according to the already tried-and-tested requirements of the child than some fancy solution that still has to prove itself in the end, but at least is architecturally (or by whatever other aspects) valuable.

I would actually just go back to square one and calmly find someone who understands me and my situation and translates it into a planning approach that is both appropriate and imaginative.

"Calmly" fits quite well. We would like to have moved before our child starts school to avoid two school changes. In addition, a large "for sale" sign hangs in front of our current house. But the asking price and the fact that no one has wanted to view the house for 6 months doesn’t stress me too much.

Long story short: one of the reasons I am currently sticking with our planner and not writing him off yet is that he covers service phases 1 to 8.
I don’t have the energy to screen 20 planners/architects only to hear from 10: "At the earliest in a year," "only service phases 1 to 4," "too far away," "not my project size"... That’s still the better scenario. The other 10 would also have to be screened.
It’s probably a worthwhile investment—even of time. Unfortunately, I can’t borrow that from the bank.

I can’t actually think of any architects with special education qualifications.

At least there are institutions that deal with it. (Google search: Architecture and Autism)