Financing options for a rather high-priced single-family house

I can't find any high-priced house here anywhere? In the south, in the village, every halfway decent single-family house costs 900k. When talking about high-priced, definitely millions should be flowing...

At €800 per child, I would probably starve myself because the money would be gone... €600 for daycare is of course very steep, but it is tax-deductible. In that respect, it relativizes itself somewhat. I assume that is U3 care? And after that it gets better?

I also don't think the additional costs for the house will be that high. The €4/m² probably already includes reserves. Many additional costs are more proportional to the number of people (water, trash in our case, actually also electricity) than to the floor area - only heating costs increase with the area. For water, for example, I mostly pay just the base fee - that really makes up the majority and it doesn't matter whether the house is 100m² or 200m². And four people living in 200m² probably don't shower more frequently than if they lived in 100m²...

In short, I think the calculation is rather pessimistic.

I also think it was calculated pessimistically. But I basically find that good and better than calculating down to the cent and falling into a financial hole because things turn out differently. The property tax is currently being reformed, waste disposal will be expensive because of diapers. U3 with a total of 4 years adds up to over €28,000 in four years. Yes, deductible, but relying on and hoping for a refund would be misplaced. What you can calculate are insurance costs. Use relevant portals for this. Water doesn’t make much of a difference; heat and electricity come into play here as price drivers. For ~130sqm I come to about €300/month for additional costs, without reserves.

Nice that there is an update, thanks

What stands out is how drastically the balance (income - expenses) has changed.

I know that now, of course, a fictional house with a loan, incidental costs (which feel way too high), and reserves have been factored in. But if you adjust this figure to the actual situation, i.e. remove the installment and reserves, and add the old rent + some incidental costs again, you roughly get expenses of maybe 5000€. Still a difference of 2000€! For that, you have almost 180,000€ of equity found behind the sofa... crazy.

Your handling of money seems very carefree to me. Which is nice if you have enough. But for the desire for a "high-priced" property that is worrying for me, and somewhere the money is finite, and then the parents have to chip in again. But why not, if you have the means

No, that's not how it is.

In the original post, no taxes were deducted from the rental income. That's already 400€. Then 400€ for reserves for a new house and the old houses. Then, in the original post, only one child was accounted for with 750€ and our first child was involved in the actual expenses. As I said, we are currently quite frugal. For example, we currently spend 400€ per month on groceries; now we've added 200€ for two older children. Then, in the original post, no reserves for cars and appliances were calculated, another 200€ more.

It is true that we currently have no money worries, but we certainly do not handle it wastefully - you can also see that, for example, I have saved almost 100K€ myself (minus some money, e.g. from grandpa for the doctorate) and currently still save 100-200€ from parental allowance (1800€). For example, I still lived in a shared flat room when I was already earning 70K€/year. Currently, we also do not go on vacation for 6000€ per year, but with 4 people it just gets more expensive...

The equity thing is also not quite correct. In the original post, it says that we still get a subsidy from the parents, which now turned out to be bigger than planned (in total 140K€), what my girlfriend has now discovered is 40K€. And to blame is hers only for the building savings contract, the other account comes from a very confusing inheritance where now, after closer inspection of the documents, one or another surprise awaits.

To the others regarding child costs:

Yes, the daycare only costs 600€ / month for the first 2 years. After that, it gets less. But it does no good if I set it much lower now, but then have problems in the first ~4 years of repayment. Only a maximum amount is tax deductible, which we exceed anyway.

The financing is also a longer story. And on the relevant sites you find values, for example, of 700€ for a teenager - but sure, including housing, food, etc., so the question would be what a realistic value would be without housing and food?

I consider that too high. I think 2.50 Euro is a good value. Or rather, one should determine concrete values instead of flat rates. Property tax costs, waste disposal costs. Water etc. based on current consumption plus generous garden surcharge etc.
You calculate reserves separately anyway.

Thanks for the feedback.

Yes, the daycare only costs 600€ / month for the first 2 years. After that, it gets less.
...

The financing is quite a long story. And on the relevant websites, you find figures like 700€ for a teenager - but of course, including housing, food, etc., so the question would be what a realistic value would be without housing and food?

But you will not have (or at most only very briefly) two children in under-3 care simultaneously. One is already a year old, and if the other is just in planning, it will not go to daycare before the first is over 3.

What do children cost per month? That depends a lot. I have two.
About 200€ of the "weekly grocery shopping" is for the children, so 100€/child. Additionally, I calculate 100€ per child per month for clothes and shoes, and "small things," tolls, a gift for a birthday party. Then birthday and Christmas, Easter... let’s say 20€/month as a reserve for gifts.
Childcare is extremely variable. The older one is in school, after-school care was about 60€/month, food about 70€/month. Now she has no care anymore, so only food remains. I paid daycare fees (over 3) 170€/month, plus 110€ for food. The last year was fee-free, so only food. Now the younger one is also going to school, after-school care 80€, food 70€.
At the "worst" times, the total for care and food was about 400€. Currently (from September) I should get by with half.
Then there are hobbies. This is also very individual; for me, it’s budgeted at 140€/month (for both).
Pocket money, phone... currently 20€.

200+200+40+200+140+20=800.

Plus holidays (family), class trips, maybe summer camp or similar, family outings (indoor playground, leisure pool...) plus housing...
But food is already included.
The called prices for daycare, after-school care, food in the facilities surely vary a lot regionally; you have to find out locally. For example, in our area, there is no scale by age, but by income and number of children. Just in the neighboring district, it is much more expensive because there is no "discount" for multiple children there. Only three weeks ago it became effective that the penultimate year before school is now also free of charge. Tbc...

I think the costs don’t change that much as children grow older. The initially high care costs (and diapers ) disappear, but hobbies, class trips, and pocket money increase. Clothes themselves become more expensive but also don’t get outgrown so quickly anymore (parents of boys might disagree...). Unless the princess sorts everything out after one season. But then parents have to put a stop to that.
There is certainly a significant increase when the children are accommodated away from home for training/studies. Otherwise, parents have a lot of influence – own car, own pony, exchange year in the USA... that is all "voluntary." Those who can afford it, can, and those who can’t... just can’t.

200+200+40+200+140+20=800.

(that is the total amount for two children, just to make that very clear)