City or countryside, new construction or renovation – the agony of choice!?

We also decided on a village.. (ok we have our own train station with connections to various big cities, various bus lines in all directions etc., but it’s still a village)

What is becoming more and more common, and yes already incredibly widespread, … delivery services. Drinks come exclusively from Flaschenpost, no more expensive than in the local store, but without carrying. Since it feels like every second person orders there by now, it is even ecologically more sensible than everyone driving individually....
Bread rolls come from the Brötchenbursche (then the fresh rolls hang at my front door in the morning...), even supermarket groceries can be completely delivered in many regions (since I like to go shopping, that is currently not a solution for me).
Around us are countless farms where I get various products directly from the source... it takes time, but I enjoy it and it feels good. That wouldn’t be possible in the city, or only to a much more limited extent.

City was my preferred model in the "wild" years. Now with a family my priorities have changed so much that I would gain no advantages from living in the city, even considerable disadvantages, but of course everyone is different.

First of all, thank you very much for the many responses!

130k inhabitants is not a real big city! The decision should be even easier in that direction! You have the entire range of services right on your doorstep but also everything that makes a village close by! So rather drive out to the farm shop than having to go to the city for every little thing. Most advocates of village life haven’t built in the city due to missing or unaffordable plots! Sure, I wouldn’t want to live in a city like Berlin either but there are many medium-sized cities that you would prefer to any village!

Anything above 100k is officially a big city, right?

We are also currently moving away from Frankfurt to a nearby place with 10k inhabitants. I basically have nothing against the city, but I don’t need it either. Our wish was a large plot with a detached house and a proper garden. You just don’t get that in the big city. How is it for you? Can you even find a plot in the city comparable to the one in the village? Or is that not important to you?

Yes, it is very important to us. That’s why a new development area is out of the question. We definitely want to have space. Whether we can afford it is the thing; it’s hard to say, it could work – but probably then with compromises on the house equipment.

My experience shows me that the argument “car” usually does not apply and the shops you like to visit are not exactly next door either, so you end up sitting in the car again – but then in city traffic and with parking problems.
And...there is still a drastic difference between country life and country life; when examined in detail, some country dwellers actually have a significantly better infrastructure at hand than some city dwellers. Due to many options, the trusted baker is in district A and the butcher in district B, the department store in C.

Well, our city does not have districts yet. But generally, that’s true – that’s exactly what I’m saying. Example DIY store, we have 2 here and both are located inconveniently from our desired quarter, and whether I am 10 or 15 minutes (according to Maps) by car, it doesn’t matter then.

Another example: pediatrician, currently 2.5 km away – so far we have always gone by car (sometimes bad weather, sometimes running late, ...). Only to the center (old town, pedestrian zone) do we actually always walk, but that is only 200 m.

One more addition: The food infrastructure in the village is already village luxury. There is a large regional Rewe with a really good selection (better than our city Rewe, we went there today to shop as a test) and its own beverage store. In addition, 2 bakeries, farm shops, etc.

The village has a kindergarten including a daycare center – but after that, it’s sparse. Elementary school is in the next village (3.5 km, not doable on foot). There are 2 riding clubs/schools right next door, but all other clubs can be forgotten (only adult sections).

And my girlfriend just rightly corrected me that we also do a lot on foot (swimming, restaurants, her pregnancy/mom courses all within walking distance + of course so far many acquaintances in the city and fewer in the villages).

That is a decision that no one can take away from you.

on the topic of school
The school bus takes care of that. 3.5 km is not much. I only know it to run according to school times. Also now during the corona school times.

For us, the primary school is 2 villages away and for the half municipality about 6 villages. The bus stops quite often. We have the bus stop 3 houses away. There is also one directly in front of the after-school care center. Secondary school is in our village.
Special needs students are picked up directly at the doorstep - district town
Secondary modern school - district town
Grammar school - district town, large enough to cover all branches
Business school, FOS district town, the neighboring district is also served by the bus.

No hotspot areas or hotspot schools. All social classes mixed.