And the next one who wants to know if it works :)

Since we have just finished building our house with a toddler ... build before the child arrives. It really makes things much easier (I know it’s a big ask when the desire to have a child becomes more urgent). It can really go quite smoothly, as it did with us. Grandma took care of the little one (2.5 years old) almost every weekend for the past 2 months, so we could work hard on the construction. During that time, we struggled heavily with our guilt. Although I know it’s also for him and he feels really comfortable with grandma and grandpa, it gnaws at you a lot. It was also annoying that we rarely really got to relax on the weekends during the week. Such a little child is exhausting. Or it goes like with our relatives: house renovation and the wife pregnant with twins. So he’s constantly alone at the construction site. There’s a lot of tension in the relationship. He only sees her loafing around at home with the kids and she only sees him leaving her alone with the children and escaping into the house. In other words, dig deep inside yourselves and discuss how you want to organize the timing and whether grandma would step in to help with the care.

Regarding the costs of the initial equipment: it can be very cheap if you look for used items. Ikea dresser with changing top (new): €90 Children’s bed (used): €100 Stroller 3 in 1 used from e.g. ABC Design: under €200 Clothes from size 50 to 74 (used): under €200 Small stuff like pacifiers, bottles, bathtub, changing mat, bedding/sleeping bag, ...: around €200 You also get a lot of things as gifts. Diapers are manageable. For the very little ones, I swear by Pampers, but from size 3 you can safely switch to Babylove and the like. They are much cheaper. Much worse is the formula. If breastfeeding is not possible and the child only tolerates Aptamil (worst case), then you pay easily €100 per month. Daycare fees for under 3s: €100 - €700 (depending on the number of hours)

Clothes get worn out in toddler age. From 3 years old, you don't really want to buy the worn-out stuff and dress the child in it. We know this with 2 boys.

At some point, the jeans are worn out. I also find it hard to buy worn-out clothes for my children but then live in a new house.

Pants are something that is difficult from the mobile age anyway. But shirts and sweaters almost always work. And from 3 years old, they don't grow like weeds anymore and have a chance to wear their clothes out. So you don’t need that many anymore. At our place, the grandmas regularly lug clothes over.

Well, if you have grandparents who do that, our parents live 20 km away, have money to spare and time (retirees) and live their own lives. I always find it interesting that the opposite exists and parents with time or finances support the family. But that is not the rule.

We have learned to always be independent. Both in terms of time and finances. If you manage it with construction / purchase, you are on the right track.

What happens if money or time was promised and then taken away? Whether due to a stroke of fate (death in the family).

That is often overlooked

I agree with Evolith! Very good post.

Better to build before the child is born and keep reserves for the first 2-3 years with loss of earnings

Well, if you have grandparents who do it our parents live 20 km away, have money to burn and time (retirees) and live their life. I always find it interesting that the opposite exists and parents with time or finances support the family. But that is not the rule.

We have learned to always be independent. Both in terms of time and finances. If you manage to handle construction/purchase like that, you are on the right track.

What happens if money or time was promised and then withdrawn? Be it due to a stroke of fate (death in the family).

That is often ignored

Also an important point!

We still had support with the first child, but from the second child on our parents couldn’t manage anymore
That means we plan, care for, and finance everything ourselves for the seven of us.
That’s how I would plan too. If support does come, you can gratefully accept it