Stay here (and build) or move away (and build/buy there)

If it is somehow possible professionally and your landlord might even be open to subletting, I would first try moving somewhere else temporarily and renting there. We had lived in southern Bavaria until early 2021 and always felt very comfortable there. For family reasons, we then moved to East Frisia for a few months, and although we actually liked it there and the prices were very affordable, it just didn’t feel like home. We then looked for a rental apartment near our old home because the purchase prices were simply outrageous. We then had the incredible luck that, out of the blue, we received a message from a municipality where we had repeatedly asked since 2018 about a plot of land but had always been rejected, that we could now buy our absolute dream plot. Fortunately, my parents are supporting us financially, but we will still have to make many compromises (the plot costs less than half of comparable plots on the open market, but due to the sharply increased construction costs, the monthly installment will still exceed our “comfort limit”). However, we have realized that we simply feel most comfortable here and that for a life in the mentioned municipality, we are willing to make sacrifices in other areas.

Of course, this does not mean that you cannot be happy elsewhere (I myself was not born here), but we have now consciously decided to take a big financial risk and live exactly where we feel at home. But as I said, everyone has to find that out for themselves. Perhaps, as mentioned at the beginning, you could move somewhere else temporarily, because it really made us aware once again that we want to live here in southern Bavaria at all costs. If the opportunity with the municipal plot had not come up, we would have accepted renting forever.

The thing is, in this area it is also difficult to find suitable rental apartments even in smaller towns if you have two children and pets like us. At the end of last year, we viewed a semi-detached house for rent located in a tiny village right on the main street that was still supposed to cost almost 2000 euros/month. According to the real estate agent, she had almost 200 interested parties within a short time, and the landlord actually preferred an older couple without children. And if you have pets, you are generally automatically out of luck.

Sorry for the long post, but to summarize again: It’s best to try moving elsewhere temporarily and then decide whether, like us, you want to live here at all costs or prefer to fulfill your dream of owning your own home somewhere else.

, you probably mean well, but: he simply can't afford it in his home community. The train has left the station. He would probably even get a plot of land from the municipality, but can't build a house on it. Maybe you haven't read the other threads on this. :) A few plots are leasehold, which he also rejects, although they might be somewhat more affordable (whether it would be enough, I don't know either).

They have known about the building area for at least four years and only manage 10k in equity? That is virtually nothing, unfortunately. To be honest, I can't imagine a bank financing his house in this town.
There was also talk of a job change in one of the last threads, but that doesn't seem to be happening either. We always only read about how terrible everything is, but hardly anything about how he actively approaches things or seriously weighs alternatives. Just the focus on this one building area, which of course must lead to frustration. Sometimes crossing things off and letting go is better for one's joy of life.

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I agree that it is tight, but I would not want to call your project impossible; I find your wish too lovely for that. It is probably wiser to listen to the other forum members. Would a shell construction combined with leasehold be possible for you? Although that probably means a lot of stress and work that could ultimately cost you your relationship.

But if you yourself think that the only alternative is between "bad and very bad," the decision is clear from my point of view. Without a (life) necessary "must," there is no need to choose something bad or very bad in life. And building or buying a house is not a (life) necessary "must."

I still remember the other thread well… thanks for the link .. if that is the one… the leasehold story sounds familiar… One of those whining threads just like this one. People tend to forget: where it is cheaper, there are not the better paid jobs - quite the opposite. If you grow up there, you can get along well with the situation. But the idea of finding your home there because it is more affordable and you supposedly earn more does not work.

Did I understand correctly that you have to be unhappy with a second child if you do not own a house and garden?

I do not want to call your project impossible; I find your wish too beautiful for that.

What kind of "argument" is that? Please be aware that people like the original poster are seeking affirmation for themselves, which they rightly (approx. 800k loan with 4.4k income!!!!!) do not receive here and as a result might be saved from a big mistake/misfortune. When someone like you throws out such an unsustainable sentence completely out of context, it carries the risk that an OP latches onto it and ignores other factors, which can simply become dangerous.

Your causal chain "I do not want to call your project impossible; I find your wish too beautiful for that." is, sorry, madness.

, you probably mean well, but: he simply can’t afford it in his home community. The train has left the station. He would probably even get a plot of land from the municipality, but can’t build a house on it. Maybe you haven’t read the other threads about it. :) A few plots are leasehold, which he also rejects, although it might be somewhat more affordable (whether it would be enough, I don’t know either).

They have known about the construction area for at least four years and have only managed to save 10k in equity? That’s basically nothing, unfortunately. Honestly, I can’t imagine a bank financing his house in this location.
There was also talk of a job change in one of the last threads, but it seems nothing has happened. We always just read about how terrible everything is, but little about how he actively tackles things or seriously weighs alternatives. Only the focus on this one building area, which of course must lead to frustration. Sometimes moving on and letting go is better for one’s joy of life.

I actually haven’t read the other thread, but I have already gathered here that it’s probably not manageable for the thread starter. But actually, with my post I also wanted to express that maybe he first has to realize whether he could also be happy somewhere else. However, I would first rent an apartment in the Upper Franconian province (or wherever), because if it doesn’t work out, at least the insight won’t have been so expensive.