Should we build on our own?

Dear forum members,

My wife and I intend to fulfill our dream of owning a home. The building plot is already available, and we wouldn’t need to take out a very large loan (about 50,000 to 80,000) – the rest is available. Now, the situation is this – until now, we always planned to build turnkey, since we are both laymen when it comes to craftsmanship and so on and usually work until 6 pm every day. My father-in-law (who built his own home 35 years ago) has now intervened and he thinks everything is way too expensive and that we should build on our own. In concrete terms: he wants us to have the plans drawn up and then handle everything ourselves, even buying the bricks ourselves, assigning the work to the companies, and so on. He says we could save a lot this way and wouldn’t need a loan. My wife and I are not at all enthusiastic about this, as we really don’t trust ourselves to build on our own under any circumstances and would prefer to have everything managed through a construction company with a single point of contact, except perhaps now for the flooring and painting work inside. As I said, the father-in-law built 35 years ago and apparently did it that way because he knew many people who helped him (who no longer exist today). In my opinion, building a house 35 years ago can no longer be compared with building a house today, but it’s hard to convince him of that. We wanted to involve him in the homebuilding topic since we inherited the building plot from him. Please help us find suitable arguments against this or tell us what you think about doing everything on our own if you have no experience. He says you should read a book about it and then you can do it. But what dangers are hidden behind this, and can you really save that much? I have already read so many reports where people even ended up losing money and had very big problems with the individual companies, up to court cases.

Hi,

I am not an expert myself, but just your statement: no time and especially no knowledge already calls for a professional contractor. Alternatively, you could also tender and award individual trades yourselves, but doing everything without expertise... I would leave it. My private life and free time are too important to me for that.

And an €80,000 loan for a single-family house is quite a bargain

Regards

You will take three times as long, be tired, exhausted, and worn out, and neglect your work. If after a year the house still isn't finished, dissatisfaction will begin, mutual blame, which can even lead to separation.

Ask Mr. Dad what possibilities he thinks you have to achieve Kfw70 or 55 and whether he can place the foil so that the house passes the Blower Door Test.
Since he doesn't know the answers anyway (I simply assume that given Dad's naivety), remind him that it's no longer 1980.

That he wants to help and have a say is one thing. But imposing his will on the offspring, meddling, and not grasping reality is quite another.
Therefore, you should politely but firmly make it clear to him that you are mature and intelligent enough to have the professionals build the house, but with one or another task you can confront him: for example, let him document the house photographically, set up the outdoor grill, or supervise the construction occasionally.

Best of luck wishes
Yvonne

My father-in-law (built it himself 35 years ago) has now intervened and he thinks everything is way too expensive and that we should build it ourselves. In concrete terms: he wants us to have the plans drawn up and then handle everything ourselves, even buying the bricks ourselves, distributing the work to the companies, etc. He says we could save a lot this way and wouldn’t need a loan.

Is he also by any chance participating financially in the construction project? Rhineland greetings

He means we could save a lot of money this way and then wouldn't need a loan. My wife and I are not enthusiastic about it at all, because we don't really believe we can manage building on our own under any circumstances and preferred to handle everything through a construction company with a single point of contact, except maybe now the flooring and interior painting work.

hm so that means you are then all in one: purchaser of materials and construction services, construction supervisor, appraiser.

In case of problems, also not involving a lawyer/external appraiser but resolving it yourselves?

So I think you are going in very naively. Especially since the trades have to work together. Construction plans and schedules must be adhered to.

If you or your dad feel confident.

I also don't think your volume for bricks etc. is sufficient to make a "bargain."

We are building "on our own," where we "only" contract out the trades ourselves and contribute as much personal effort as possible. But everything with professional advice from trained craftsmen. And we are both handy (especially my husband )

I also think that your father-in-law means people still build like in the old days, when you really could still lay bricks yourself and so on... I would definitely not do that in your place. If you already say you don’t feel comfortable with it, then it’s pointless. You would probably save money, but it would take much longer and, as mentioned above, everything probably wouldn’t be done perfectly or there might even be really big problems with sealing and such, and you would be very upset then.