Loan agreement with condition: valuation report

I would also first try it on a personal level. Call the assessor and tell him about the problem with your wife. That is a completely normal condition, should not be judged, and it cannot be argued away. If you find a common ground on a friendly level, then he can certainly be very considerate.

"Illness" is the wrong word, it is a variety of what I would call "psychological something like blood types," and I call it my "professionally qualifying disability." Doro from Galoxee's Asperger TV has made some quite decent explanatory videos to make it understandable for NTs. The problem here, as far as I understand it, is an "assessment company," meaning a big firm from which you don't know in advance which of their guys will show up at your door.

Alternatively, give the wife a nice day out with her best friend and lead the assessor undercover through the house. However, if this comes out, it will probably be a bigger breach of trust.

In our case, it would be that my dear lady (NT) would guide the gentleman through the property in my absence. That means the situation is handled by a trusted person and that would be fine (which unfortunately does not work equally well for all affected people).

It is called Smalltalk and in the process, you always share a bit of private information. That is not a big deal and is part of life.

P.S.: Just imagine that this word alone could cause sweating. That is not "easily" explainable.

Yes, I thought so, that would get it. With my wife, the "she's not here and I'll do it alone" only works to a limited extent. Sure, the situation itself is eased. Still, for her, the daydream starts and the whole day, or rather weeks before, are pure stress with physical side effects. I'll try first with "I have no time, tell me what you need and I'll send it to you."

I'll try with "I have no time, tell me what you need and I'll send it to you."

Oh, you think you can talk directly to the visitor beforehand? ...

Yes, I figured that @11ant gets it. With my wife, "she's not here and I'll do it alone" would only work to a limited extent. Sure, the situation itself is defused. Still, her mind starts racing and the whole day, or rather weeks before, are pure stress with physical side effects.

... then in your place I would ask him if you may accompany him with the tablet and film what he is shown (he himself doesn’t have to be in the picture and would only be heard). Then your wife won’t have any racing thoughts.

"Illness" is the wrong word, it is a variety of what I’d call "psychological something like blood groups," and I call it my "job-qualifying disability." Doro from Galoxee´s Asperger TV has made quite decent explanatory videos to make it understandable for NTs. The problem here, if I understood correctly, is a "assessor company," i.e. a big outfit where you don’t even know in advance which one of their guys will show up at your door.

That was in no way meant to be offensive, please don’t misunderstand! Quite the opposite, I wanted to say that it’s something you can’t help and shouldn’t be judged for. It’s handled the same way with physical complaints, and I think both should be taken equally seriously socially and in society. You often still hear that psychological problems/deviations aren’t real problems and can simply be ignored. In the sense of: “You don’t have depression, just try to be happy.” That’s more what I was getting at. And if we’re honest, we all have our psychological quirks. No one gets away from that.

How to best solve that can surely be best assessed by , since the expression varies with each person. However, that seems to me like a marriage requiring a lot of understanding and support. I’m confident you’ll somehow manage it with all the ideas :)

I am confident that you will somehow manage all those ideas :)

A good closing word for way too much disclosed privacy that doesn't want at all.