Is our new building realistically financeable?

Even if it is off-topic, I cannot just let this stand. First of all, very few students will be able to simply earn 600€ on the side from the first semester. And secondly, as parents you are obliged to support your children until their education is completed. It has absolutely nothing to do with being a helicopter parent. This should be included in the financing plan. That you should not overdo it and finance your child their own car and the one-room apartment is another matter. I agree with you on that. From the third semester onwards, I also always worked to be able to afford a bit more, and in the end, it even resulted in a full-time job ;)

I challenge this. This whole "obliged" thing. Yes, you must cover maintenance costs. Here I would tell my children to continue living in the house, here is the child benefit, and then see about getting a part-time job. At some point, children must also take responsibility! Common practice in foreign families. When I was in training, I also gave back a part of the money.

here I disagree.

And not without reason. A 450€ job under normal conditions should always be possible. EVEN if you actually get enough money from home. Otherwise, if even in the upper middle class the money for house & children becomes tighter, you simply can no longer study unprofitable art. An aspiring IT specialist will surely be able to quickly surpass 450€ as a working student.
Or you have to go straight the BA route.

And not entirely unjustified. A 450€ job under normal conditions should always be possible. EVEN if you actually get enough money from home. Otherwise, if even in the upper middle class the money for house & children gets tighter, you simply can’t study breadless art anymore. An aspiring IT specialist will certainly be able to exceed 450€ pretty quickly even as a working student. Or you have to go the BA route right away.

studying in Germany is practically free if you look at the neighbors. there only the privileged can manage the whole thing.

If I now also have to spoil my children and cover the costs for studies, vacation, car. no, please not

Morality looks different

... and of course there's only black and white. Either children must be 100% financed, are lazy, partying, ungrateful slackers who throw their parents' money out the window with both hands, or they are supposed to earn their own living, responsibility of the parents ends at adulthood.

Man, man, man, people. I suspect that 90% of students fall somewhere between your extremes and that's completely fine.

- yes, for the most part you are right - however, there is still a lot of black & white in this area - it’s a matter of attitude.

Either the child is "up for" working or learns at home that you have to work for money
or
the child gets everything handed to them and doesn’t know how to handle money. Then the "helicopter parents" prefer to hold back in every area to make everything possible for the child -

I know this myself from my childhood...
You were raised to find a job during your studies - if you want an apartment, you just get a cheap shared flat for relatively little money, instead of the nice 1-room apartment to provide the poor student with the optimal learning conditions xD

The result: young adults who already find it too much to do a two-week holiday job - because working is so exhausting. Study on the side?? How is that supposed to work... better to mooch off mom.

Then somehow for the 18th birthday you get a used car for €4,000 from grandma/grandpa - saved money from birthdays or whatever - instead of a leasing vehicle worth €30,000.

That was partially already like that before and is more extreme today. I do think that there is a lot of black & white in this area and parents hold back extremely to "shove everything into the kid’s ass."

Back in the days when you built a house, people used to say: "make sure you don’t just work for your house - you also want to be able to afford something for yourself."
Today you should make sure you have something left for yourself, since financing the kids is the focus.

To put it bluntly - this is just my opinion:

Nowadays we are raising the biggest pussies who will no longer cope in the increasingly tough working world. In my opinion, the preparation of children for the "harsh" life is completely missing.

I think 4,000 EUR is already too much for a used car.
Driver's license and done. I didn't get anything else either. Although wait – the driver's license money from my father I had to give to my mother and then I also earned it from Zivisold.
For all special requests, the child must at least pitch in themselves already now at 9 years old.
But I wouldn't "kick out" a child at a fixed time. My children always get food and a roof over their heads as long as they follow the rules.