Theoretically, one can do more than just guess, but it requires quite a bit of work. The heating load calculation that is usually provided for the overall calculation is mostly somewhat rudimentary and was created before the construction itself. For my house, after the construction, I calculated the room-by-room heating load myself. In principle, you just need to make an Excel spreadsheet, in which for each room and all walls the heat conduction is calculated (in principle, the formula is the same for each room, differing only in wall areas (with window/frame), temperature difference (outside variable stored in some cell), and thermal conductivity, which you can calculate, for example, using the U-value calculator available online based on the materials used). Then, in the end, you know quite accurately at which temperature which heating power is needed (controlled residential ventilation can also be included, if desired). This corresponded quite well with reality for me, but I also adjusted the heating circuits and the heating settings (heating curve) very meticulously myself. The advantage is: in the house, the temperature has been constant at about 0.3°C for 4 years (without the ERR having to intervene). I would recommend to the OP to first turn all ERRs, if available, fully up and adjust the temperature in the house over several weeks using the heating curve, so that the heating does not produce too much heat that might be throttled. Raising the hysteresis (heating flow temperature) was also useful for me so that the system starts less often and has longer continuous running times. Right now is the optimal time to make adjustments because heating is being used. When it gets warmer outside soon, make fine adjustments and with the two different points of the heating curve (which you then know) you have established the entire course.
Edit:
Heat loss of a wall for the table:
U-value (in W/m²K) * area * (inside temp - outside temp)
For the total heating load, you can of course also simply take all exterior surfaces + roof + floor.