Financing a single-family home beyond retirement?

Our case: My husband is soon 47, I am 33. Children (18, 13, 5, 1). So we will soon have a student (hopefully dual study), and whenever one finishes, the next one starts. But one thing is clear, we don’t finance their entire life. They get a subsidy. What they make of it (there is also child benefit) is up to them. Whether it has to be their own apartment or a shared flat is enough, allowing for more partying, they decide. The study location must then also be chosen so that the budget fits. So it can’t be Heidelberg for medical studies, but rather Rostock. We are finished with the loan when I retire. So my husband lives on paper with the loan for at least 14 years. Special payments not considered. But we see it like . We enjoy our life now. Travel with the children (thanks to Corona we at least tried), allow them one toy or another more (my son doesn’t have to wait until his birthday for a bigger bike, the little daughter sometimes gets a doll in between). And we also don’t want to be stingy. If we want to go to the cinema with 4D, then we do it. For that, no special payment and not finished much earlier. But we don’t care. Whether the children will have anything from the house later? Yes, that matters very little to me. The house is primarily for me and my husband and the children (while they are with us). If we have done everything right, they won’t need our inheritance. Whether they inherit debts then (they can refuse that) or cash... maybe we will sell the place and move to the Caribbean. The only important thing is that our pension is enough to pay off the loans and it definitely is.

but I can do that too, simply because I have set up a solid, well-calculated financing. If I couldn't afford the house under the conditions available to me, then I just have to walk away from it. But if some people calculate €100 for additional costs, €300 for groceries, or other absurd amounts just to make it fit, then you shouldn't be surprised.

The fact is: as a family of three, we will of course have to restrict ourselves initially, no question, but I still want to be able to live, otherwise the whole thing really isn't any fun.
We have a big garden. But if I can't even afford a grill, then something is wrong somewhere.

There are also many truths here and everyone has to live their own truth. At the time, we financed at 8% and only 1-2% repayment was possible for most. Therefore, the question still arises today whether I can/want to afford a house at all. Back then, we decided yes, but quite out in the countryside to make it possible (which I would always do again). I always preferred to drive further to work but had a nice home. Today I am glad that the house was paid off, even if I couldn't afford some things. Honestly, I am often surprised at what expectations or standards are considered "normal" today. For example, we had already scaled back the car to the bare minimum early on, but we always had a car. Just these costs, which are considered standard by most, have never been an option for me. I could still pay the installments today, but it feels very pleasant not to have to anymore. What often surprises me is that the statistically proven events like divorce, illness, unemployment are rarely taken into account. I am a confessed optimist, but for example, the probability of divorce is quite high. Therefore, I would not want to take too big a risk today with a 30-year or longer repayment period.

We financed at 8% back then and only 1-2% repayment was possible

But due to the effect of the saved interest, this means a significantly shorter term than repaying today at 3% (8% interest and 1% repayment are not a 30-year term!). You didn’t even need more than 1% repayment to be faster than most homebuyers today.

What often surprises me is that statistically proven events like divorce, illness, unemployment are rarely taken into account. I am a confirmed optimist, but for example, the probability of divorce is quite high.

Well, that’s called life. Should I forgo the house today because I might get divorced tomorrow? So what, then the house will be sold if I can no longer afford it. But at least I had a good time until then. We Germans are just too stuffy and inflexible.

There are also many truths here and everyone has to live their own. At the time, we financed with 8% and only 1-2 repayments were possible for most. Therefore, the question today also arises whether I can/want to afford a house at all. We decided yes back then, but quite in the countryside to make it possible (which I would always do again). I always preferred to drive further to work but had a nice home. Today I am glad that the house was paid off, even if I couldn’t afford some things. To be honest, I am often surprised at what expectations or standards are considered "normal" today. For example, we already scaled down to the bare minimum when it came to cars, but always had a car. Alone these costs, which are on the card as standard for most, are out of the question for me to this day. I could still pay the installments today, but it is a very pleasant feeling that I no longer have to. What often surprises me is that statistically verifiable events such as divorce, illness, unemployment are rarely taken into account. I am an avowed optimist, but for example, the probability of divorce is quite high. Therefore, today I wouldn’t want to stick my neck out too far for a repayment period of 30 years or longer.

Every bank advisor also wanted to push a life insurance on me, which I categorically refused. I do not bet on death. Otherwise, I see it like

The rest is life and hard to calculate.

Only one thing was important to me: I, personally, do not want to leave my children an unpaid hut, that also has something to do with responsibility.

is right in that the kids have to provide for their own livelihood and shape their own lives. There’s no relying on mom and dad. I don’t inherit a cent, had to work for everything myself, and still I don’t want to hand over an unpaid hut to my offspring, that is my life’s task.

But due to the effect of the interest saved, this means a significantly shorter term than repaying at 3% today (8% interest and 1% repayment are not a 30-year term!). You wouldn’t even need more than 1% repayment to be faster than most builders today.

Well, that’s called life. Should I forgo the house today because I might get divorced tomorrow? So what, then the house will just be sold if I can no longer afford it. But at least I had a good time until then.

We Germans are just too narrow-minded and inflexible.

I don’t know if it has to be called narrow-minded in a derogatory way. For example, I have repeatedly bought and sold a house/apartment for various reasons and am building again now. I have my own philosophy about this, and if one at least seriously considers such things and then comes to your point of view, then it is optimal. As I said, I have sold and started anew several times, just as you see it.
Nevertheless, I have experienced some dramas in the environment and therefore one should at least talk about it seriously and relentlessly before undertaking such a project.
Otherwise, I absolutely agree with you; the data on interest rates and terms was off the cuff; it was 35 years ago, and I wanted to point out that in such a very long time probably many things will happen that one does not like to think about beforehand or only suspects happen to others.
I will build again soon and am already looking forward to it because I am approaching it differently this time, precisely because my situation is different from before.
And yes, if it needs to be different again, then it will be changed again—that has always been the case for me.
As someone who has lived abroad several times, I also know that the narrow-mindedness/inflexibility you mentioned is in some ways a positive trait of ours. That is exactly why we Germans are often appreciated.