Financing a single-family home beyond retirement?

I also always find the period of 20-25 years to be dangerous. Many first-time home builders have no children or no children yet. In about 20 years, the children, who are then often in training/studies, will really start to cost a lot of money. At the same time, initial (cosmetic) repairs on the house may become due. If that then also coincides with the start of retirement (even with a good pension, income will usually decrease somewhat), it can get tight. Not necessarily so tight that the house is in danger, but still tight enough that the new retiree might not be able to enjoy their newfound free time as much as they want. So I would avoid having children’s education + further house installments + reduced income due to retirement coincide.

Yes, I also believe that one definitely needs to look at that closely. In one case, I personally see it differently, namely when (which nowadays apparently is considered standard), the wishes or concerns of the children, in my opinion, are overdone by the parents. Children should have a nice life, but that is often something different than what we imagine. Sometimes I read about things here, and also experience it often, where ultimately the children set the rules that the parents then dance to, without of course noticing or admitting it. In my environment (ok... a bit older already), it was often the case that besides BAföG, the children took out a student loan if they wanted "more." Be it a car, no cheap shared flat, vacations, etc... I think that a degree and the possibly resulting student loan is an investment of the young people in their own future, which they can then repay when they have reached, through their degree, a higher income. That does not mean you don’t support your children, but we always place value on personal responsibility, and at the age of 20 and above, one should take that on, meaning also pay for it. Students get a student loan completely independent of collateral, parents, or their financial situation; neither of us can get money that fast and easily. That may sound harsh to some, but it is not. Just by the way... but I see the rest as you do.

I also do not believe that parents have to provide the young students with an all-inclusive carefree package. But having to take out a student loan in addition to BAföG is already intense, and I do not want to impose that on my children. Depending on what is studied, having to repay BAföG plus a student loan as a beginner in the profession can be quite tough. These are then the new homeowners who will be criticized in this forum in 30 years for not having saved any equity. I think the mix makes the difference. Support and cover the minimal basic needs (if possible); for all other extras, the dear students can work part-time. But with 3 students, even the cost for 3x student dormitories can add up significantly. Even if the rest is covered by the students themselves (through jobs, BAföG, or loans).

I also don't believe that parents have to offer young students the all-round carefree package. But having to take out a student loan in addition to BAföG is quite intense, and I don't want to impose that on my children. Depending on what is studied, repaying BAföG plus a student loan as a beginner professional can be quite tough. These are then the new homeowners who get criticized in this forum in 30 years for not having saved any equity. I think the mix makes the difference. Support and cover the minimal basic needs (if possible); for all extras, the dear students can work part-time. But with 3 students, even the cost for 3x student dormitories can really add up. Even if the rest is borne by the students themselves (through jobs, BAföG or loans).

Children are also allowed to work during their studies. I worked 20 hours/week at 80% capacity during my studies. Additionally, I worked during the study-free periods ("winter and summer vacations"). And I also took out a €20,000 student loan (expensive life/ partied too much). Normally, you also have a high income after your studies, so you can pay everything back within about 3 years. So it all works out... I didn't receive BAföG because my parents earned too much. The loans they had do not count towards the calculation. But it wouldn't have mattered. My parents raised me and paid for everything for about 20 years. For me, it was clear: if I study, I finance it myself. It's all a matter of upbringing.

I had my apartment paid for by my parents. The rest I earned myself. Of course you can have a job. I even think you should. But I also saw that for most people who had to pay for everything on their own (which by the way is not the usual case, most have received support from their parents in some form) it was not easy to handle. But it surely also depends on the subject and the duration of studies. There are many steps in between completely financing children on their own and spoiling them. I want to support my children to a certain extent and have planned it that way; whether I will be able to afford it, time will tell.

I also don’t think that parents have to provide the all-around carefree package for young students. But having to take out a study loan in addition to Bafög, I find that quite intense and don’t want to impose that on my children. Depending on what is studied, then as a career starter having to repay both Bafög + study loan can be quite tough. Those are the first-time home buyers who, in 30 years, will be held accountable in this forum for not having saved any equity. I think the mix is what matters. Support and cover the minimal basic needs (if possible); for all the nice-to-haves, the dear students can work part-time. But with 3 students, even the amount for 3x dorm rooms can add up significantly. Even if the rest is covered by the students themselves (through jobs, Bafög, or loans).

This is not about right or wrong and I certainly don’t want to convert anyone. Support can be provided in many ways, but I find it inappropriate that I should still support my adult children in my retirement. But—one can do it that way. I see that this is often how it works nowadays, but I see my adult children as adults (not as strangers), and that on ALL levels. The current standard of living among young people today is often where the parents partially raise it through their own sacrifices. I find that unhealthy. If I can’t afford a long-distance trip or to go out in the evening, then I can’t. Often, the feeling that "it’s just not possible" is something parents don’t want to impose on their children, but they do impose it on themselves with house building or elsewhere. Children often don’t want that, but rather that the elders do very well. As I said… my opinion and… absolutely the opinion of my children. They have created everything themselves so far, which I think is great; but often they had to experience that friends found it much easier. But that belongs to growing up or being an adult. The repayment of these loans is not harsh; it is designed according to the circumstances of the person affected. They took full advantage of it and some parties or crazy trips happened. I always thought that was great, I told them so too, but it was always clear that they would repay it themselves. They are adults!!!

I had the apartment paid for by my parents. The rest I earned myself. Of course you can have a job. I even think you should. But I also saw that for most people who had to pay for everything on their own (which by the way is not the usual case, most have received support from their parents in some form) it was not easy to handle. But it certainly also depends on the subject and the duration of studies. There are many steps in between letting children finance everything on their own and spoiling them rotten. I want to support my children to a certain extent and have planned for that. Whether I will be able to afford it, time will tell.

Of course there are many differences, please don’t misunderstand. And I am/was by no means harsh or stubborn about that. But it’s about the understanding there and that nothing should be taken for granted. And that sometimes it can be hard to make ends meet... that’s life... that’s exactly what they are supposed to learn, otherwise they might later build dream villas and not be able to pay for them because they might lack that experience—