Evaluation of our financing offer

The concept of having 2 children and then putting them in daycare for 8-10 hours a day never quite made sense to me. Don’t the parents have to work? It’s easy to get that wrong, they have their own lives and it’s a different thing to drop by once on the weekend than to have the little one running around every day from 3 p.m. onwards. It wouldn’t be the first time that the grandparents say, "You know... we really like our grandchildren and are happy to help out sometimes. But they are your children, first and foremost you have to take care of them, not us..." It can work, no question. But it largely depends on the relationship with the parents always being perfect. A certain (emotional) dependence quickly builds up, along the lines of "What, you can’t today? Miss, we gave you xxx,000 EUR for the house and financed your payments over the years, blah blah blah..." And with small children, you can forget about "shifts" anyway, at least for one parent. No daycare is open at night or on weekends, for example. Not even in the East. And it’s precisely the night shifts and weekends that make the job attractive because of all the bonuses involved. Right? ;)

I don't see it as critically as long as the relationship with the parents is good and fits. (...)

Exactly. As long as it fits, everything is fine. But building a house, both working full-time in shift work, kids... that's stress and stress changes a lot... I would never, ever in my life get into financial dependence on my parents-in-law, no matter how much they might cuddle and fuss over me...

Here and there a gift, gladly. But the parents-in-law included in the loan contract? Not in 500 years...

I would like to mention some additional uncertainties in the planning: 2 doctors with shifts quickly reach over 150k gross, then the 1800 Euro parental allowance is lost without replacement. And: Whether it really works to work (a lot) again after a year is very individual, possibly also depends on the child. Both parents employed with shifts in the hospital is possible but I have already seen some (mothers) who then stay away significantly longer. There is also a certain time pressure due to age - almost 32 when taking the exam, pregnant at 33, and the 2nd child at 36. I wish you that everything works out, but I have recently experienced several fertility treatments in my academic circle of friends in their mid-30s. Since the generous support from the wealthy parents is in the background, these are of course no reasons not to buy the house. I just wanted to mention from my own experience that not everything always has to go smoothly according to plan.

Facts:

2 doctors with shifts quickly reach over 150k gross, then the 1800 Euro parental allowance disappears without replacement.

They are still students.

I am a big fan of living life, and with the conditions as they currently are.

Yes, right. Me too. But I don’t see that here.

The OP researched the correct values/conditions according to the current reality.
Now she has the choice to keep dreaming her life—because there are no guarantees what will or could be—or she implements her plan, lives her life,

But we are talking about a big financial dependency here. Don’t take it the wrong way, but is one really taking control of their own life if they have their parents cover higher additional costs and also half of the mortgage?

The place is gone, and possibly a financial disadvantage has occurred.

Yes, for the parents.
Again, it can be done this way, it will probably work out. But it is not an independent path—not even with the great own equity. If you emphasize eastern independence here, then you are deceiving yourself.

The parents are adults too and need to know what they are signing. I also trust them to do so. I suspect that the parents are only included in this arrangement because the "dream house" appeared two years too early and they don't want to let the house go. Opportunities to buy a house within walking distance to the parents do not come up every day.

I cannot project my experience onto others. I also would not have wanted my parents on the loan agreement. But I am open to the possibility that other people have a completely different relationship with their parents. If both parties are willing to enter such a dependency on each other, it suggests that there is a close relationship of trust here. That is rare, but I sincerely wish it for them.

If the parents actually have to help out with the care of the fictitious children at some point, it would not be a long-lasting situation. My mum also promised to help us if all else fails. She once said that it is also something nice in old age to be needed again. If that were the case, it would always be just an emergency solution, and only for as long as absolutely necessary.
Let’s assume the OP doesn’t get a daycare spot immediately; that doesn’t mean they will never get one permanently.

The concept of having 2 children and then putting them in daycare for 8-10 hours daily never quite made sense to me.
Don't the parents have to work? It's easy to get it wrong, they have their own lives and it's different to drop by on weekends sometimes than having the little one running around every day from 3 pm.
It wouldn’t be the first time that the grandparents say, "You know... we really like our grandchildren and are happy to help out sometimes. But they are your children, you have to take care of them first, not us..."

It can work, no question. But it basically relies to a large extent on the relationship with the parents always being excellent.
A certain (emotional) dependency builds up quickly, along the lines of "What, you can’t today? Miss, we gave you xxx,000 EUR for the house and have been co-financing your installments for years, blah blah blah..."

And you can forget about "shifts" with small children anyway, at least for one parent. No daycare is open at night or on weekends, for example. Not even in the East. And it’s exactly the night shifts and weekends that make the job attractive because a lot of bonuses are paid. Right? ;)

The plan is not to put the children in daycare for 10 hours a day. Possibly one shortens it to 35 hours or so, but I don’t want to work much less. My parents also always worked full-time, it didn’t harm me.
But yes, of course, relying solely on the grandparents is certainly not the way either.

The equity is not a gift from my parents. They are only participating in the loan payment for 1 year (until I start earning money).
I don’t see the shifts as a big problem, there aren’t that many shifts anyway, possibly one has to work in shifts or my boyfriend wants to leave the hospital anyway after 3 years and go into private practice.