I also find the ratio of credit to income to be too high. However, I have a problem understanding your income calculation:
Salaries:
2000€ gross + variable salary up to 3500€ additionally annually
1400€ gross
Child benefit 192€
2400€
of which 560€ currently go to the apartment (interest + repayment + service charges)
850€ fall away due to parental leave until the end of the year
289€ for a car loan that expires in December
250€ into a home savings contract (or several) which will be dissolved soon
450€ remain for living expenses currently
560 € for the apartment would drop as expenses – of course I understand that. 289 € for a car loan expiring in December – hm okay, that’s possible since there is still some time until the final construction/the full payment of installments. 250 € into home savings contracts – of course – if they are dissolved (What have you planned this money (20k) for?)
850 € falling away due to parental leave until the end of the year?
I don’t understand that. I think your wife currently earns 1,400 € net? Or does she get the 850 € parental allowance and have a 450 € job? In that case, you should urgently adjust your wife’s income (i.e. minus the 850 €). Also, I would then recommend putting any planning on hold until it is clear what your wife is working, how long, and how much she is earning. This should also be confirmed over several months (so that she does not quit the job again due to the double burden of work and children).
I speak from my own experience. Our planning was based on my wife’s income of about 1,000 euros. After parental leave she took a job (part-time in retail) with 1,200 net. However, she could not cope with the double burden of work and child (working hours vs. daycare hours was the biggest issue). After a longer absence due to a work accident, she was given notice and was not unhappy about it. Now she works on a 450 euro basis. She is considering possibly increasing to 20 or 24 hours/week (if the employer allows) – but primarily only in the mornings so there are no problems with the kids (on Fridays and Saturdays she already works in the afternoons because I can take care of the children then). Fortunately, I can cover the gap. However, vacation or similar is absolutely not possible. The current horror scenario for me is if one of the cars breaks down. That would be really tough for us.