The refill does not need to be larger than the water meter. Theoretically, a small pipe is also sufficient. As soon as, for example, the cistern is half empty, start the refill. If you no longer irrigate, have the refill stop at half full. This leaves enough space for rainwater.
DN63 does not require a normal installation. Mine is "sick" and I have DN63. But my pump also handles over 35m3...
Yes, the water dose can be connected directly to the pipe. You don't need to switch a shower and it has its own fitting.