Boundary construction - hide ugly rear house wall

So anyway, the construction would personally not stop me from buying. Especially not in a difficult market situation.

I also think you can make something out of it. Much more important is that the neighborhood is right.

Hmm, so you have the driveway to the south, the neighbor to the west, and the wall to the east.
In terms of orientation, that's not exactly optimal.
For me, it would also depend on what "below the standard land value" means for you.
For us, the standard land value is €850/sqm.
For 730 sqm, that would be €620,000. Even half of the standard land value would still be too much for me for the plot. But of course, everyone has to decide that individually.

Ok. The reality in the Düsseldorf area is as follows: There are virtually no building plots available on the open market. In new housing developments, there are up to 50 applicants per plot. Two years in advance. That means you find out years later that you didn’t get the chance.
If something does come on the market, it goes for between 50% and 100% above the standard land value. So a plot at the standard land value would already be a bargain.

Now, of course, one could say that you keep looking for the perfect plot. Then it just takes 2-3 years. And in the end, you still have no perfection. Everyone who has done that bites their nails every day. Land prices here go up by 10% every year in the somewhat decent locations.

So you are lucky if you find a seller willing to sell by door-to-door canvassing (no joke... we really did that for days).
You have to accept that it is not perfect, without quirks and edges. Anything else would be unrealistic here.

In short: we're talking about 20% below the standard land value. In an area where plots sell on the open market for 50% above the standard land value.

Regarding climbing aids, I can’t imagine that working with ivy, for example. My parents covered their garage wall with it (actually with a climbing aid), but it still grew all over the wall. Afterwards, you could even be liable if something happens to their house.
I also know knotweed and bindweed for facade greening, but whether the facade would definitely remain intact, you’d probably have to research well.
The safest would be tall trees, but then it just takes years.

I’m afraid the same about climbing plants...

The option of tall trees would of course be the mega-bonsai. You can already buy those at a few meters in height and they probably continue to grow well.
But the rhizome barrier really has to be 100% safe.

Option tall trees would be the mega bonsai.

I mean, of course, bamboo

The Phyllostachys Bissetii will probably also reach 6 to 8 m in height.

Build a huge climbing wall with grips, charge admission, refinance the purchase. Otherwise, I agree. If that is the biggest drawback – it could be lived with. Wine is not without problems, but it would be my choice of remedy. By the time it becomes structurally problematic, demolition might be an option anyway.

If it looks like that, then it would even be a dream
And yes, you can't avoid compromises. I can think of 4 major criticisms about our property right away.
But unfortunately, the budget is limited and the offer is very scarce.

Is this monstrosity actually a residential house or a barn or what is it about?