Architectural design - planning crisis!

- I don’t know if your pedantic censorship was really necessary now. In your own house building topic, you already have the second endless fight thread running after the first one was apparently deleted by the admin for some reasons, and you certainly do not show restraint in your description of the errors, which of course are always made exclusively by others. As someone who apparently only feels surrounded by opponents and boundlessly incompetent service providers, you now probably read something deliberately negative here. Of course, it is not exactly easy to understand the other person as a whole in the impersonal internet, but I had the impression from the OP that she wants to plan an exciting, unusual project and fortunately also approaches it with a pleasant amount of humor or can laugh about herself, which is often missing otherwise. In this respect, I believe that she would speak up if she felt treated inappropriately; but I assume she is aware that she does not want to annoy anyone here but at most wants to give possible food for thought that might catch the attention of a stranger reader. As an older person with sometimes similar experiences, one often realizes in retrospect that one was sometimes blind to certain business aspects in some decisions simply because one was too emotionally involved. Therefore, ultimately any remark can be purposeful, even a seemingly unpleasant one, because if one only wanted to read pleasant or “censored” comments, one would remain in one’s own closed circle of thought and could forgo the open-ended participation in such a forum.

I would now like to claim that the OP did not find your comments so funny after all. There are also people, and I am one of them, who enjoy planning and implementing a house project with their adult children.

There are also people, and I am one of them, who enjoy planning and carrying out a house project with their adult children.

I understand that well, and a relationship on equal footing in adulthood is a great thing. The thing is, at least to me, it sounded like the adult child was simply included in the planning. Not planned together, but planned for her. And a 3.5-room apartment is not really a highlight for the child’s family planning after already completing their studies. Hence the questions about what the "nestling" really wants. No one here really knows what it looks like on site. At least it is unclear to me or I have simply misinterpreted it. But it does not matter, this is an internet forum. I think there have been many important points of reflection in this thread. It’s about a lot of money for a potential project, where the OP has already expressed doubts herself. Yes, I find all the answers here reasonable and quite important. Even if the OP says between the lines that she wants to spend the remaining money on a special house, possibly open a retirement WG or even sell it, you still have to examine the economic viability, because the child moving out soon is a very realistic scenario. Only in this way can a conscious decision be made.

......, because the timely moving out of the child is a very realistic scenario. Only in this way can one make a conscious decision.

Why? And why is a 3.5-room apartment not such a great thing for family planning, as you say? I can't understand what is so objectionable about a 3.5-room apartment for a young family. My daughter currently lives with her husband and almost 3-year-old son in a two-room apartment, and the second child is on the way. They would be happy about a 3.5-room apartment. Furthermore, with today's capacity of daycare and kindergarten places, child’s illness, closure of care facilities due to Corona, home office with a small child, etc., it is very advantageous to have a grandmother and/or grandfather available.

And why is a 3.5-room apartment not such a hit for family planning, as you write.

Because it is too small.

My daughter currently lives with her husband and nearly 3-year-old son in a two-room apartment and the second child is on the way. They would be happy about a 3.5-room apartment.

Yes, of course they would be happy about an upgrade. But actually, they would like: living room, bedroom, 2 children’s rooms and an office. You yourself say that home office is currently important. Make it 5 rooms. A second toilet will also become very important as soon as the second child no longer wears diapers. And you have a lot of laundry... better not in the living room / shared basement. Why? Own experience in a four-room apartment. With children, you only do this in four or fewer rooms for a short transition period, or if you simply cannot afford anything else (unlikely in the house building forum). The grown child here earns well (positively meant!).

Why? And why is a 3.5-room apartment not such a great thing for family planning, as you write? I cannot understand what could be wrong with a 3.5-room apartment for a young family. My daughter currently lives with her husband and their almost 3-year-old son in a two-room apartment, and the second child is on the way. They would be happy to have a 3.5-room apartment. Besides, given today's capacity for daycare and kindergarten places, child illness, closure of childcare facilities due to Corona, home office with a small child, etc., it is very advantageous to have a grandma and/or grandpa available.

Home office is especially difficult in a 3.5-room apartment with a small child. I see that in our case at the moment. The changing table shares a room with my husband's workspace, which is at least not optimal. What I find even more limiting about an apartment is the lack of garden access (unless it is on the ground floor). For me, that would be the main reason, even if we hadn't built, to leave our beloved apartment.