Stress-free building - Who has tips or experiences on how to do it?

Even though thousands of houses are built every year, it is still quite a complicated construct overall,

This applies even more in times when tens of thousands of houses are being built. In this respect, it might be relaxing to wait for the end of the boom. Currently, a lot of stress arises from the order situation, where the eighth person does not immediately have time to complete their work after the seventh. More time pressure leads to more sloppiness, and full order books also cause prices to rise (= more stress later when paying off because it was more expensive).

I can often only smile at the reports of hours worked here.

These usually come from desk workers who extrapolate their sprint performance under ideal conditions—that the practical work first relaxes them and that they also took time off for it—to the long run and to any additional manual work capacity after work on a 1:1 basis. It feels like in the first week you single-handedly build the entire settlement, but in practice the breaks to catch your breath become increasingly frequent until three years pass between the scaffolding of the exterior plasterer and the last planting ring. And yet, the DIY store ads made it all look so easy-peasy

Own effort is definitely a great thing but no matter how much or little, own effort and stress-free cannot be used in the same sentence

The OP can take away from this, no own effort = less stress

Thank you very much for the numerous responses.

I will try to briefly summarize:
Less stress through
- careful selection of the GU based on conversations with clients, internet research, suitable chemistry (or alternatively a good architect who takes over construction management)
- building expert, also carefully selected, preferably on site (short distance, has a reputation to lose)
- a lot of money
- plenty of time to familiarize oneself with the subject matter
- regular site inspections or having the GU do it and getting involved little oneself and not getting stressed if not everything is perfect
- own contribution or no own contribution, opinions differ on that

Thanks again for the many contributions!

It's still too general for me. Self-made stress is when you calculate too tightly and allow too little construction time. Treat yourself to nine months of construction time, calculate carefully including driveway, garden, lamps, plants, etc. External stress comes from the companies. The solution is to take a general contractor [GU] who, first, has a good reputation, second, does a lot in-house and needs few subcontractors. This guarantees a smooth process. For example, our [GU] did everything except plumbing and heating, electrical and painting, floors. However, he always does these trades with the same companies. This way, everything went hand in hand. Another stress avoider is your own presence on the site, talking with the people, small tips, drinks, food. This creates community and ensures motivated work. Karsten

I also think it is very important that you and your partner agree on where the journey should go. My husband and I are still far from building a house (at least 3 years, rather 5-6). But already now we are educating ourselves on the subject, finding out together what we want, what we consider nonsense, and so on. If you only do this right at the last minute and have actually set a goal like starting in June, but you don’t agree at all on the floor plan between each other (not even considering the forum), it won’t help no matter how much money you have :P And that can cause everything to fail: - how the house should look, whether inside or outside - which staircase I find most comfortable - whether the husband possibly wants a retreat, especially regarding his career and future planned children - whether you want to build for now or for old age - which floors should be installed All of this can keep the stress level low if you agree and don’t have to argue with each other over every decision.

all this can keep the stress level low if everyone agrees and you don't have to argue with each other over every decision

Basically, that is true, but on the one hand, so many detailed questions arise during the final planning that there is still plenty of potential for discussion. Furthermore, tastes change, the spirit of the times, and also one’s own needs. I think it’s good that you are already thinking about it and that some parameters (like the orientation of the rooms in relation to the cardinal directions) remain the same. Ultimately, however, the plot of land also plays a huge role, as well as the budget, which you really can’t estimate yet. Fifteen years ago, I would definitely have wanted a basement bar; today it would rather be a home theater room. In ten years, I might prefer a wellness room with sauna and whirlpool or a fireplace room with armchairs, a minibar, and a library. So it’s not that simple. Likewise, I would probably currently put tiles with a wood look in the bathroom; in 15 years, that trend will probably be totally out. Just as today a very reduced look (white painted walls without wallpaper, large anthracite-colored tiles, etc.) is trendy. In a few years, the "natural style" will probably become fashionable again, with exposed beams and lots of wood. Maybe then building land will be so scarce that we plan three-story houses, or it will become cheaper to buy building land and huge bungalows will be feasible. I find it hard to plan so far ahead into the future. On the other hand, for example, my wife and I have completely different opinions on many things, such as furnishing, equipment, etc. In the end, however, we have always found a compromise that we both really like. It’s always a matter of how you deal with each other and, of course, also with the builders/tradesmen.