Split-level from 1967 - experiences?

  • Erstellt am 2024-03-25 10:25:23

danibel

2024-03-29 13:55:58
  • #1


STOP. This goes too far and is absolutely inappropriate. I have nothing to do with other forum posts and you know nothing about our living conditions and those of my mother, our "demands," ideas, and ways of life, whether we have a cleaning lady, nanny, or personal cook.

Congratulations on your active social life, I hope different manners are applied there than anonymously on the internet.



Unbelievable. I will not comment further on this here.
 

11ant

2024-03-29 14:46:11
  • #2
Presumably, you are simply too young with a mother in her early 60s to have experienced the 218 women’s movement and to understand what I would call the "appropriate sensitivity" of the women accustomed to regularly demanding their equality. belongs here to the core of the friendly and helpful advisers and by no means to those who use the internet as an "antisocial medium."
 

danibel

2024-03-29 15:41:56
  • #3


Alright, then I will take note of that and choose a different wording:

Since you already mentioned in a mitigating way that it might not be entirely fair to attribute all the mentioned "stereotypes" to me, I would like to briefly address our individual (!) situation:

For us, living together would look like this: my mother lives in our house, but she is neither supposed to do our household chores nor routinely “babysit the child.” Both she and we independently came up with the idea that living together would be a good idea. In many conversations, we discussed our ideas and wishes. Among other things:

    [*]Separate entrances, locked units
    [*]no one just stands “randomly” in the hallway, but rings or knocks
    [*]Well-equipped granny flat with 2 rooms, not a studio apartment, not a dark basement room but proper windows and a view outside
    [*]etc.

My mother is and was not a stay-at-home mom, has always liked working, has been frequently on business trips, and is now enjoying a well-deserved retirement. She would continue to live her life, travel, and pursue her hobbies. She already has acquaintances and friends in the “new” environment and would definitely lead an active life—by the way, she currently does so in her 60 sqm apartment in a multi-family house.

If there are people who see their own mother as a free nanny and housekeeper and ban her to the basement for that, then that is unfortunate but definitely not us. I cannot imagine anything nicer than having her nearby, and she cannot imagine anything nicer than seeing her grandchild grow up from close by.

I hope this sheds some light on the matter. No hard feelings, but the comment caught me a bit off guard (and undeservedly).
 

danibel

2024-03-29 16:15:13
  • #4


You are probably right, for me probably "typical for my birth year" it is natural that one does not impose the tedious tasks of the household on an adult woman just because she once gave you life and one assumes that babysitting and noodles with butter (I actually had to laugh at that ) represent the ultimate for her. But I probably also stand on the shoulders of the previous generation, who had to work hard for this self-evidence.

In this sense: back to topic friends...
 

danibel

2024-03-29 16:32:43
  • #5
That sounds very nice and I think my mother would like it. We’ll sit down together in the next few days and discuss in detail what she envisions for this property, and I’ll suggest the conservatory to her.
 

ypg

2024-03-29 18:34:38
  • #6
But you haven't actually looked at the house here with the basement of living quality and read that the OP is planning an extension and not just these 1 1/2 rooms… besides, it is her wish, etc.? That impression didn’t arise here either. There were inquiries (from me) and then that’s enough. Something like that I can well imagine in terms of style. From wall to wall… the front garden allows that up to a certain depth. Is it allowed by building regulations? Oh dear, that's only 4 meters?! Then you probably only gain one meter in depth… I would discuss that with the building authority and an architect to see what is possible.
 
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