I would refuse to install an infiltration system. What's the point of doing soil surveys if the findings are ultimately just ignored? In the end, you are the one who suffers if your garden turns into a swampy area. But this is often the problem with new housing developments. Municipalities/towns have difficulties connecting completely new areas to the existing system because capacities are limited or because of height issues. Then a soil survey is conducted, which is interpreted in such a way that the water might possibly be allowed to infiltrate, and suddenly it is included in the building regulations. Problem solved, and when after development and at the start of construction detailed surveys are made by the builders and the soil does not actually permit infiltration, the initial surveyor is suddenly no longer reachable. I've experienced this several times.
Usually, a storage trench combined with a cistern is used to introduce the water with a delay. Part of the cistern is used as an "intermediate storage" to then slowly feed the water into the storage trench via a throttle. This, of course, reduces the usable volume of the cistern, or the cistern must be enlarged by the retention volume. Typically, this is in the range of 1.5–3 m³, depending on the roof area, size of the storage trench, and soil conditions. For me, regardless of the costs, this would still not be a solution because no one guarantees that sufficient water can infiltrate, or the soil survey even contradicts this. Of course, it’s also useless if you get rid of your own water "somehow" differently and you get washed away by the infiltrated water of the neighbors; but at least in that case, you can still take legal action.
If a sewer connection is technically not feasible, it naturally becomes difficult because the municipality/town will then block you, and you will be left alone with the problem. Then, besides looking for another building plot, the only option is to let the water infiltrate and hope that nothing happens. However, with groundwater at 3.5 m, the question also arises how deep a storage trench may be so that the infiltrated water does not go directly into the groundwater.