Problems with equity - real estate purchase

One more thing:
I don’t know the KFW conditions now, but are you sure you can get KFW 70?
Presumably, the previous owners have already used the KFW 70 loan. I hardly believe it’s possible twice.
Besides, I dare to doubt that you can get a KFW 70 house including land for 200,000€, let alone for 160,000€.

So we definitely want to keep things well separated. Although we have been a couple for 8 years, we are only 23 and 25 years old.
Regarding a house for 160,000€, I can only say we didn’t believe it either. But if you look at the offers from Deutsche Reihenhaus, there are nice 81sqm houses or also 116sqm row houses for sometimes under 150,000€. According to test reports etc., hidden costs are only that you have to buy a parking spot for about 6,000€ and a garden shed for 5,000€ ;-).

My boyfriend also does not want to accept money from my father. It would be easier for ME if he did not contribute so much because then we could share the loan installments. Right now, we share the KFW loan + the bank loan and I also have to pay back my father. That costs a lot, especially because I’m the one who earns less than he does. However, he of course also says, why should he pay interest if he has the money anyway. Makes sense.

So we definitely want to separate well. We've been a couple for 8 years now, but we are only 23 and 25 years old.

Sorry, one should not assume that. Nobody can imagine it and one should not assume it either. But it cannot be ruled out and a house is a lot of responsibility. This is a classic case in German courts. I wouldn't do it that way.

It costs money, especially because I am the one who earns less than him.

You are very young, but generally speaking: If you've been together for 8 years and want to buy a house together, why is there still such a strict separation? Musketier’s example with the vacation fits very well. A house ties you more than a marriage, so you should already have a bit more closeness to each other.

My ex-fiancé and I also bought an apartment back then. More precisely: He bought it and I lived there with him. The apartment belonged to him, he signed the loan contracts, he was the sole owner.

I paid him "rent" and in this way contributed to the apartment.

When we separated, neither he nor I had any financial problems. I simply moved out, he kept the apartment. There was no hard feelings at all.

That would definitely be an alternative you should consider. Especially if you have less equity and earn less.

If you ever get married and you also want to contribute to the house/apartment, you can have the land register entry changed.

On the topic of a house for €160,000, I can only say, we didn't believe it either. But if you take a look at the offers from Deutsche Reihenhaus, there are nice 81 sqm houses or also 116 sqm row houses for sometimes under €150,000. According to test reports etc., the only hidden costs are that you have to buy a parking space for about €6,000 and a garden shed for €5,000;-).

I suspect that the DRH (Deutsche Reihenhaus) is a developer. Certainly, notary fees and property transfer tax are added. I bet there are several other costs on top of that. Do you want to commit now to 81 sqm or 116 sqm when your family planning hasn’t even started yet? I just quickly googled. If I read it correctly, you can’t bring any individuality into the DRH. Everything is off the shelf. No extra sockets, no extra light switches, everywhere only standard. We were at the tile studio last week. There are so many beautiful tiles, also at reasonable prices. At DRH, it seems there are only white tiles, at least if I look at the pictures on their website. The question is whether you want that when you’re already spending so much money.

There has already been quite a bit written on the topic. In my opinion, this difference of €20,000 is almost negligible in a project like this. You want to buy a house together. That means from then on, hardly anything can be separated anymore. And when children come, especially not anymore. If you happen to earn more than him, theoretically you can also save more, buy food, and so on. That can no longer be balanced out. In your case, you should see the equity as joint and that’s fine. Who paid for the car, who paid for the furniture, who saves more for the house reserve... Strict separation won’t work the way you imagine. It would be different if you had inherited €100,000 and contributed that. Then something would have to be arranged.

We made everything quite simple. First, term life insurance for each partner. VERY important for unmarried couples. Inheritance contract. So that you inherit each other. Otherwise, only the parents or someone else inherits, and the partner gets nothing. And we made a separation agreement. It states that in case of separation, both can consider whether they want to stay in the house. If only one party is interested, an appraisal determines the value of the house. The balance minus the remaining loan debt. Half of that amount must be paid by the one to the other. If both want to buy, the decision is made by drawing lots in the presence of a notary.

Don’t drive yourselves crazy over a few thousand €.

I think this difference of €20,000 is almost negligible in my eyes for a project like this.

1 euro is 1 euro, is 1 euro. €20,000 is €20,000, regardless of it being compared to a sum of €200,000. They are no more or less worth just because something costs €20,001.

I will probably never understand the argument... "That only costs €1,000, and that only €15,000, compared to a total sum of €400,000 that's almost nothing!"

"Xtreme1000", how long do you have to work for €20,000 net? Think about it and then say "almost negligible" once more.

The suggestion with the rent wasn't bad, but that presupposes that in the case of a separation he can pay alone / get the loan as the sole borrower at all. Otherwise, everything must be regulated contractually with a notary and signed together.

Everyone puts in €10,000 equity and from the rest the furnishings / as a reserve.

What that means in extra interest can be calculated (interest on the credit on one side for the €20,000, extra interest / expenses on the other. If he insists on that, you just have to give it to him or forego the house purchase.
However, if you ever have a child who receives breast milk, then he should also pay you the share you save by not having to buy infant formula.

It's everyone's own business. We have (even before the wedding) never made a difference since we moved in together. Everyone pays what they can, together it has to fit.