How much does it cost to buy or build a house?

The basic expenses are always similar, which means that any income above that is freely available.

That may be the case in individual instances. Generally, I tend to see it differently: there's a Mercedes "E" in the garage instead of a Golf, vacations are never below 5 stars, the cleaning lady has to be paid, Dry-Aged RibEye goes into the pan instead of turkey schnitzel, and shopping is done at the weekly market instead of Aldi. That makes many people happier than the most luxurious bathroom.

Hello,

first of all, thanks for the many contributions!!! That’s exactly how I imagined it. Also to hear other ideas and different ways of thinking.

I want to comment on a few points.

1) The topic of romance/house construction/wife for life/etc. was often mentioned. I have to say, it is not quite clear how we want/should handle this financially. That is all currently open. But I can definitely say that for us, it has nothing to do with romance how one approaches financial planning, house construction, retirement provision, or similar. I am of the opinion that anyone who views such things with "romance" could experience a rude awakening here and there. We see it very matter-of-factly. It’s about money. Not about our "romantic" relationship. Since I myself come from the East, I know what the first responder means. In many people's eyes, confusing a love relationship with asset building/home ownership/retirement provision is a gross mistake. But apparently everyone is different there.

2) How is the financial matter regulated between me and my partner? That is an open question. We are (still) not married. The topic is also complex because she is self-employed and already owns a property in which she does not live. Children are not excluded; if that happens, we will certainly consider marriage. For the reasons mentioned above like inheritance, death, rights in many life situations, etc. I mean the "official" marriage, not the traditional romantic wedding. (Maybe we also want to have a romantic church wedding, but that is not a topic for this forum.) Nevertheless, in our constellation this topic is somewhat more complex and must/will also be reviewed by a tax advisor.

3) The bank has no problem with this in my case, would probably even go significantly higher than I want to spend. Exact quote: "At that amount, you are far from reaching your limit..."

We also do not live in the South, but here in eastern NRW the euro is no longer worth a whole euro either. As I said, there is hardly any existing property to renovate heating, sanitary facilities, floors, and walls for less than €250,000–300,000. I currently have a house from the late 90s in mind where practically nothing would need to be done. Cost: €485,000 for property transfer tax (6.5% in NRW!!!!) and paperwork about another €30,000 on top. No broker fee (those are criminal costs anyway). Then a bit of sprucing up and putting in a kitchen and voilà, you’re at €530,000. That would be a loan amount of about €380,000 for me...

4) I am of the opinion that if the salary is higher, generally a higher percentage of the salary can be taken for the installments. Because although there is proportionally less left, absolutely still enough money can be available for a decent life. A piece of butter costs the same for someone who earns €2,000 and someone who earns €5,000. In short; if someone with €2,000 net gives 50%, i.e. €1,000 to the bank, they have "only" €1,000 left for the rest (car, vacation, children, food, etc.). If it is someone who earns €5,000 net, they have €2,500 left for the rest. So it is relative. This percent-of-salary rule is all the more significant the less you earn, I think.

Maybe I am simply too insecure about us in my head.

Another question in between: Can't the posts be edited? The first typing is often terrible and needs EDIT.

With your wife's self-employment, this naturally becomes more difficult. I don't know how the house is jointly liable for offenses in that case. But one case was told to me by my mother. The daughter of her colleague had almost the described problem. She got together with a man who was just in the process of buying a house. Since the relationship was still so new, he first bought it alone as planned and she moved in. Peace, joy, pancakes. Only she became unexpectedly pregnant after 2 months. Oops. Shortly before the birth, the father of her unborn child was pushed to the side by a truck while on a motorcycle and flipped over. Severe skull injury. It was questionable whether he would survive. Exactly 1 day before the child was born, he woke up from the coma and was relatively fit. My mother told this story because the child's father was present at the birth via cam. She found that so curious. Conclusion for you: You should get good advice on how your wife is secured in a similar case.

With full equity investment, a 20-year fixed interest period, and a repayment rate of 3.5%, you should get your loan of 350k € at an interest rate of about 1.88%. This results in a monthly payment of about 1800 € and a term of approximately 23 years. If you want to repay more slowly, you could easily reduce it to up to 1550 € / month, but then it will take almost 30 years. And I have only taken options without significant interest rate risk so far.

However, I think that the 4225-1800=2425 € should be enough for everything else, especially if your girlfriend also contributes.

"I believe that when the salary is higher, generally more % of the salary can be used for the payments." That is theoretically true. In reality, however, I repeatedly see that with high earners, fixed expenses also increase: mainly due to expenses for private schools and the like.

That's true in theory. In reality, however, I repeatedly see that the fixed expenses also rise for high earners: especially due to expenses for private schools and the like.

Yes, that may be. I do agree. On the other hand, I am personally quite different. I rather don’t squander money unnecessarily, as you can also see from my saving performance. Sure, expenses for necessary things can always increase with sudden family growth or similar, but it's not like I am then completely tight on money. At least I think so.

Well, and private schools. Whoever needs it. For me personally, even with a significantly higher income, that would not be an option. But that has other reasons.