Helpers from the family, friends, and acquaintances circle

That's just how it is with "do it your self". Thanks for the honest words

We have now completed about 12 of the 14 weeks of renovation work on the old building and can still say that we have diligent helpers. On weekends, we have had at least one helper for a few hours on one of the two days, and often for the whole day. That is already worth a lot. Many heavy tasks simply require working in pairs, but one of us always has to take care of the children. It is therefore invaluable when a friend comes and helps with installing the large windows. And if we sometimes have someone to look after the children, the 3rd and 4th helper is of course still welcome so that things can move along faster. We always provide coffee, lunch, and drinks, and often cake in the afternoon; you have to keep people in good spirits.

We still handle it in such a way that we rarely actively ask for help and prefer to see who comes on their own, and that works quite well. Those who come to help WANT to help and then really pitch in accordingly. I think pressuring people only leads to them coming less often rather than more. We expected more help from some, but that's just the way it is.

And by the way, aside from my father, who at least is very good at wallpapering, all our helpers have no knowledge of construction. However, they were assigned tasks that don’t require any knowledge or that are very simple or very quick to learn. Of course, no one is assigned to plastering, drywall work, or whatever. But every little bit helps, and so we are happy and grateful for every half hour of help. If here and there an acrylic joint is done, that’s great.

Off Topic:

I know that I am very lucky in this regard. My parents and my brother are simply great and always there for me (just as I am for them). Not only when it comes to help with building the house.

But from my husband's side, there is hardly/no help either. It doesn't have to be, nobody HAS to help. Of course, it is still a pity. There is no interest at all in the house or in us, which I find "worse". Not during the house construction. Not at the wedding or anytime else. No help. No interest. Never. You can't change that. Some families are just like that, and basically, there is nothing wrong with that. It's just that I am not used to it at all, and I don't want it that way either. And I feel sorry for my husband. He sees what MY family does for us and also for him as an individual. And then he sees that nothing comes from his family, not even interest. That sometimes makes him sad.

Your description is not so off-topic after all.
Without interest and support from the family, you can't contribute your own effort.

On my wife's side, there is no interest either; they don't listen when it comes to scheduling, and none of them will help. Strangely enough, it worked with her sisters two years ago. They took weekends off, etc. With us, it’s just "you can handle it yourselves." Unfortunately, this attitude also extends to the children. And then, outrageously, they ask if we are planning with a guest room. My wife suffers a lot from this unfairness and sees that my parents really want to help and would even be willing to live with us for several weeks (at least my father) to be the “construction manager, painter, wallpaper hanger, and floor layer.”

P.S. We have planned without a guest room.

Your description is not that off-topic. Without interest and support from the family, you cannot make your own contribution.

On my wife's side, there is no interest, and during the scheduling, no one listens, and nobody will help either. Strangely enough, it worked with her sisters two years ago. They got weekends off, etc. With us, it's just "you'll manage." Unfortunately, this also applies to the children. And then, impudently, they ask if we are planning with a guest room. My wife suffers greatly from the unfairness and sees that my parents definitely want to help and would also be willing to live with us for several weeks (at least my father) to act as the "construction manager, painter, wallpaperer, and flooring installer."

P.S. We planned without a guest room.

I know that!

There is not much family left at our age. My parents are dead, their parents are dead or in a nursing home. Siblings partly far away. But I have a brother who is a master painter. He and a journeyman together plastered, painted, wallpapered, and laid the floor in the house for me. It took about 120 hours. But I paid for it—not too much, but reasonably, because that's how we've always done it. We help, yes, but not everything for free. That's okay. There are friends who help out sometimes. Mount a few lamps, take something to the trash site, etc. Otherwise, we calculated everything cleanly with companies. And that's good. If it becomes cheaper somewhere through own work, then okay; if not, also fine. Karsten