Building application - delay due to neighbor's lawsuit - experiences?

one wants to feel comfortable there and not argue constantly.

On the one hand: yes. But on the other hand: just accepting the property as the territory of the begrudger and caving in out of fear of an unpleasant neighborly relationship is not a solution either. Properties that are sufficiently large, not vineyard-steep, not half rock and half swamp are not so plentiful that one could insist on only taking those without idiots nearby. Some lions become quite well-behaved when someone roars back once in a while.

On the one hand: yes. But on the other hand: just accepting the property as the territory of the begrudger and cowering out of fear of an unpleasant neighborly relationship is not the way either. Properties that are sufficiently large, not steep like a vineyard, not half rock and half swamp are not so common that you could insist on only taking those without idiots nearby. Some lions become quite well-behaved when someone growls back once in a while

You are absolutely right!

I always find it a pity how many neighborly relationships are already broken or at least damaged before the very first piece of furniture has even been carried into the house. For our construction project, we wanted a signature from the neighbor because of minor height exceedances at the garage on the boundary line — at the front we would have been under the three meters permitted by HBO, at the back a bit over due to the slope. So, we approached the neighbor, explained everything to him, and even said that we did not want to plan over his head and wanted to involve him. We even offered, if he wished, to install a steel cable net for vegetation on our costs and to green the garage on top, even though we did not have to (now there is a tar paper wasteland on the boundary)... ultimately, it was just about whether to get the signature or not. Without the signature, the building authority would have said no anyway. Well, he strung us along for weeks and instead of simply telling us personally that he did not want it (which would have been perfectly okay), an aggressive letter from his lawyer came. After a few weeks it turned out that he actually wasn’t concerned about the height: the parents of the previous owner of our property had not allowed the neighbor’s parents to build a garage years and decades ago, so he does not allow us now either. Well, the garage will be built anyway (just a bit flatter), but the attitude towards the neighbor has turned somewhat negative because of his strange behavior.

In short: with some people it hardly matters how you approach them. When these embittered and stubborn people are annoyed by something, there are usually only two options — either do not get distracted or look for something else. Fortunately, these annoyances are usually of an age that makes the whole thing foreseeable anyway. So, don’t get too upset, don’t let it spoil your basic attitude, and always continue to be friendly to all (other) people in the neighborhood. The last point applies especially to neighborhood inquiries about building... always consider what you gain yourself from a refusal AND what the other "loses." Few projects are actually so bad that obstructing them justifies the bad mood afterwards. Especially if they are legally secured.

stubborn, bitter, old.....me sixty plus. Perception. Age does something to me. Losses, some things no longer work that once did. Threats, aches accumulate, illnesses appear, fear, your parents are dead, now it’s your turn soon. Profession, younger people are better. Routine doesn’t make up for everything. All this makes one more anxious, more distrustful, one wants something to hold onto, my home my castle. Wagon fort thinking....I perceive all this within me, and put on Deep Purple Highway Star, then it goes away. Unfortunately, the neighbor listens to Silbereisen, then it doesn’t go away.

Well, concerns can definitely be had. However, unfortunately many people seem to be reluctant to discuss them with the "would-be builder newcomer" in the neighborhood. There are many ways to deal with concerns, clear them up or find another solution together. Often it is not even the big "uncertainty" that causes displeasure but often small things that the builder is not even aware of. Unfortunately, personal conversation is too often avoided, arguments are not made honestly, and in the end a lawyer is pushed forward or incomprehensible threats are thrown out.