Building a house in the "old homeland" with the family or at work?

Post #2 asks the right questions ...

Funny post reminds us.

We moved away from work to my family. On the one hand because we got more for the money (new build) and then hoped that family and friends would come closer together again.

We are happy, BUT I commute which is okay, my wife no longer has home office (not okay, looking for a new job) and family / friends have scattered. Lost some friends, family does their own thing. (are a big family).

Therefore, I would not focus on the family.

Both of us originally come from an area about 100 km away near Göttingen from a small town/village. At that time, we didn’t like it there very much and moved to the big city (due to work), felt very comfortable there, but thanks to our two sons, we have moved back to a village near Hanover and therefore still have the city behind us.

Hello,

you write that you didn’t like your village very much back then and therefore moved away, so why are you now thinking about moving back? That your children play with their cousins might be your idea, but it doesn’t have to be true at all. We also once lived in the same place as my aunt. My brother never played with his cousin of the same age (only at family gatherings); they had different circles of friends. Children and teenagers choose their friends themselves, so it doesn’t have to be the relatives automatically, and friendships can also change quickly. I would rather think about what happens when the children get older. Do they have enough opportunities to go out in the village, can they study or do an apprenticeship nearby? Where are the secondary schools? Otherwise, later on, it might be that one “rots away” alone in the village and the children move away to have better opportunities. If you live more centrally, the chances are much higher that the children will later live nearby than if you live somewhere in the “middle of nowhere.” 100 km is also not such a great distance that you would only see each other once a year. You also write that you searched a long time for this property; I wouldn’t just let that chance slip away now.

Best regards,
Sabine

well, and the sister-in-law isn't really fond of country life either^^ whether I would want to listen to her whining every day or if she is annoyed with you^^

My siblings, my cousin and I have all moved away, only my grandmother is still alive of my grandparents, so there is not much left of my original family, which is why I wouldn’t necessarily want to return.

But when I see how often other children are picked up from kindergarten by their grandparents and how often they step in when the child is sick, in that regard I do miss the closeness to my parents. For us, it’s only 80 km distance and most of it on the highway, so it only takes 40-45 minutes, but you don’t drive 160 km just to pick the child up earlier. The question is how long would you have this advantage.
On the other hand, I don’t even want to think about what it will be like when my parents are no longer able and no one is there locally anymore.
With my mother-in-law, I think it’s good that the distance has grown. :D

I find it very difficult to recommend or discourage here.
When I built my house, I had similar thoughts about whether everything I was doing was right. But to this day, I have not regretted it.

We decided 13 years ago to emigrate to Canada and actually lived there for 10 years. All alone, with 2 children and far away from family and friends. Making new friends was difficult, different mentality, etc., but we loved it. Ultimately, however, we moved back to Germany exactly because of family and our roots 3 years ago. We also faced the question of where exactly, my husband wanted to go to Bavaria or Frankfurt, but I preferred the direction of my family (Central Hesse). Although I didn’t feel comfortable here back then, I am really glad that I was able to prevail. Although my family also lives 30 minutes away and I therefore don’t have help in everyday life, I still have old friends here and have built more friendships in the last 3 years than in the 10 years in Canada. Family meets regularly, but we can also do our own thing. The children play together when they see each other, but otherwise have their own friends here, and that is a good thing. We also consciously chose a large community with good infrastructure so that the children will have more opportunities later. You consciously chose the area where you live, and even bought a plot of land there. Apparently, you already like it there a lot. If you have fundamental doubts and no longer feel comfortable, you should try to get out of the whole thing. But having family always right in front of your nose is not always easy either. I am honestly glad about the 30-minute distance :)