Bank wants co-ownership of the property - experiences?

Such constructs are one of the reasons why so many women end up in old-age poverty: their own money is credulously invested without interest in the man's house, without real security.

The security is the marriage with the community of accrued gains. This prevents old-age poverty. Old-age poverty arises when one stops working. The modern woman or family should ensure that both partners work part-time, for example 30 hours, and share responsibilities such as household, children, etc. accordingly.

She reads along and I discuss it with her. She doesn't even want to receive it as a gift, she wants the part she contributes to be paid out later. (...)

You have to regulate that in a marriage contract. That shouldn't be an issue, right? Everything that is not contrary to public policy may be agreed upon between two contracting parties in Germany. That won't be enough for the bank, you'll probably have to find another one. Some banks are just odd, but there are plenty of others. By the way, the "odd" ones are usually the banks with the best conditions...

a) where do you get the money to pay them off?

a) is not that absurd after all.

She signs, so she is not only liable for half the amount but for the whole.

That's how it is in a 50:50 partnership: everyone stands up for the other - no matter who takes off and is no longer willing to pay. The consequence would be that everyone does their own thing and the topic of partnership, family, morality and reliability ends up in the recycling bin.

That's how it is in a 50:50 partnership: everyone stands up for the other - no matter who takes off and is no longer willing to pay. The consequence would be that everyone does their own thing and the topic of partnership, family, morality, and reliability ends up in the recycling bin.

But she should not stand up for him alone, either both or none.

Originally, all of this was solely meant to secure the children. That’s what marriage is for, that’s what the duties are for. A woman had to be sure that the man wouldn’t leave her with 8 children, which is why he would go to hell for it. And the man had to be sure that his wife would take care of the household, otherwise he couldn’t go to war or work 70 hours a week for the lord. In a childless relationship, where both can go to work anyway, these securities are somehow absurd.

Originally, all of this was solely intended to secure the children. That’s what marriage is for, that’s what the duties are for.

No, on the contrary. The institution of marriage is primarily intended to secure the traditional housewife marriage. Children have always been irrelevant in this. That’s what child support is for. Child support is prioritized higher than separation and divorce maintenance and is independent of whether a marriage existed or not (joint marriage-related loans, e.g. for the house, relativize this again but that’s going too far). One more thing, look at the spouse splitting. The deal is: The state waives tax revenues, but in return it is no longer responsible for the financial security of the housewife.

She is following along and I am discussing it with her. She doesn’t even want to receive it as a gift, she wants to be paid the share she contributes later on.

I think it’s good that you are openly working through this together. My explicit advice to Mrs. Franzbrot: Under no circumstances sign a marriage contract!! Without a contract, you automatically get everything back with the divorce thanks to the community of accrued gains. Typically even more because of value increases, etc. Again: No marriage contract, and if you do want one – e.g. because of self-employment, company shares, etc – then not like described above, because that shoots you into poverty yourself. What good is it if you pay in €10,000 today, get it back in 20 years, but it’s worthless due to inflation? Even if the house is worth €10 million, you will only get your then laughable €10,000 back. Second advice: Insist on registration in the land register. No matter what percentage, just take, for example, 25% and that’s that. That way you can influence the necessary sale and ensure enough money flows. And in case of separation, you won’t be so easily thrown out anymore.