I would gladly do that, but the topic as a whole is rather extensive, while inheritance law matters are comparatively simple. The question is where to start. I will try to create some structure so that one can navigate this in an organized way.
I. Basics
a) The normal case
The sky is full of violins. You feel comfortable in the relationship and plan the future together. Our nesting instinct then ensures that we settle in together. Initially often in a rented apartment or in one partner’s property. Eventually, a desire to build often arises. This usually becomes quite expensive, and the couple often takes on considerable debt. Hopefully, this phase is not a problem, and the installments and living expenses are affordable—with good prior planning. Life is beautiful. :-)
b) Rescuing the fading partnership
It is no longer as beautiful as one had hoped for oneself. The violins have quieted, and everyday life has caught up with the partners. The tingling feeling is replaced by daily routine. Time and again, the partners no longer have many commonalities. It somehow often becomes boring, and everyone has heard all the stories before. The partners talk less and less properly with each other.
At the same time, interest rates are currently low. Both always wanted to have a house according to their wishes. Living in a large/middle-sized owner-occupied home on their own plot is easy to imagine. The relationship blooms again because a very important common interest has been discovered. The preparations are fun; you talk a lot about the designs and how great everything will be. Life is beautiful. :-)
II. The first problems
a) Own contributions
Life is somehow beautiful but also exhausting. The financing concept is based on significant own contributions. Sure, one knew it would be exhausting, but together we can manage. Now the partners quickly realize that the time and physical effort are much more extensive than initially assumed. The constant involvement with the construction drains the nerves. There is less and less time for the partnership and the family. What on earth is the guy doing on the construction site for hours? Gone again the whole weekend, and somehow nothing visible has been achieved. Can we really move in within 8 weeks? We imagined it very differently. The rented apartment has already been terminated, or the existing property has been sold. We have to move out. But where to? It’s raining.
b) Financial problems
Life was beautiful, but now we can hardly imagine a vacation together anymore. Even eating out is somehow always accompanied by a bad feeling. The hardware store bills are still open, and so much still has to be bought. It is still nowhere near finished. Yet the builder/architect promised that we planned well and sufficiently. The banker also said we would manage the monthly installment well (if we do not make huge leaps). Now money is lacking everywhere, and an end to the costs is not foreseeable. We have lost track. My partner is a jerk. Didn’t pay proper attention and got taken in. What has he gotten us into? This is not how I imagined it. My partner blames me because I supposedly valued the fittings so much that we are as far from standard as possible. Blames me. Silly me. It’s raining.
III. Back to the violins
This phase is the most beautiful time one can imagine. We love each other, and the common goal is right in front of our eyes. We get along. Here, one wishes it would last forever. We treat each other fairly. We want the partner and the children to be well provided for even after the relationship, of course; we are fair, and this circumstance will never arise anyway.
Nobody really wants to deal with unpleasant things. Especially not when everything is going so great at the moment. But precisely now is the right time to make agreements that are fair, balanced, and farsighted. Contracts are there so that you get along. But you basically only need them when things no longer go so well.
IV. Separation / Divorce
a) Fault-based separation
aa) Violence
It doesn’t work anymore. My partner has changed. The financial situation has made life unpleasant. We have to turn every cent three times. We can’t afford anything anymore. My partner has changed. I get shouted at, or he/she doesn’t speak to me for days. Our children directly perceive the tense situation. They notice, even though we (unspoken) try hard that they don’t notice. Somehow, they seem lethargic and listless. They are fussy and already suffering. You can’t hide that the relationship is going downhill. Recently, I was beaten. It doesn’t work anymore. We have to get out of here.
ab) Infidelity
Something’s wrong. No more time. No intermittent calls, and WhatsApp messages are not answered. Yet I saw that he/she was still online just now. What is this? The car is increasingly parked somewhere else and also stays away overnight. Allegedly business trips. Yet he/she was seen just recently.
b) Growing apart
We have drifted apart. It doesn’t work anymore. I simply can’t look at him/her or hear him/her talk anymore. I feel bad. I want to leave.
V. Conclusion
I have written so extensively to make clear that there really are very different situations. I have only captured a fraction of the possible scenarios. But it is also clear that when a relationship deteriorates, a breakup/divorce is often not far away. This is problematic because we behave as humans. Mostly, we do not try objectively to make the best of our problems and approach a separation fairly and justly. It is difficult anyway to define what fair and just should actually mean.
If she cheats and he was the breadwinner. He always worked a lot and earned the money for the family and was therefore often, far, and long away. The relationship suffered. She has now fallen in love again. Somehow it just happened and was not wanted at all. Something died inside her before. 2/3 children are present. Now she separates and wants to live with her new partner, who, however, will only move into the joint house much later .... (!!!).
What happens to the house? Sell it? How should maintenance be arranged? She only earns money hourly, and the children are still young. The maintenance payments will be high, and he will get the feeling that she is blowing his money on the new guy. He does not want to pay for that.
What is fair and just?
In my opinion, fair would be that she continues the previous family management. The children must be taken care of. That means not only the financial aspect but also the care. For the latter to be possible, the woman must be able to do this timewise. A full-time job only makes sense if the children are older or care can be ensured otherwise.
There are many scenarios here too, and any attempt at generalization is inadmissible. But it becomes clear again that such matters can best be discussed in times of great commonalities. A family law attorney helps here in drafting separation/divorce agreements that can contain all possible arrangements. These are then usually formulated in a balanced and fair manner and can reduce later disputes over the clarified matters.
Hurt feelings, disappointments, and possible thoughts of revenge cannot be prevented by these agreements. However, they form a basis to prevent unfair behavior when one is emotionally affected afterward and is no longer able to reach reasonable arrangements.
So it is immensely helpful. Separation/divorce and the reasons for it remain nonsense anyway. ;-)