Takeover of the parental home + extension for parents

  • Erstellt am 2019-11-10 15:01:29

Tassimat

2019-11-12 10:55:57
  • #1


If your brother agrees to that, then sure, why not. Just suggest it to him to create a basis for discussion.

Personally, I find these arrangements very unfair. What happens with potential value increases within the 10 years? What if the brother needs the money earlier? Or if you then don’t feel like or have time for caregiving. I also find it odd to factor in caregiving costs now that don’t even exist yet. Who would provide care in case it is needed? Caring for in-laws strikes me as very unpleasant at first thought. Care is more than just getting someone dressed in the morning, putting food on the table, and buying three items at the store.

I prefer direct solutions. Value today, payout today. If care in a nursing home then becomes necessary, the costs are halved.
 

apokolok

2019-11-12 12:28:26
  • #2
I find it a bit strange how here a couple of 65 and 60 are already treated as virtually needing care. With luck, there are still 20 or even more good, independent, and active years ahead. you are currently planning to have children. Believe me when I tell you that the double burden of children and caregiving is simply too much. Let your parents keep their independence and don’t start planning now for a scenario that, God willing, will never happen. If the relationship is so great now, I wouldn’t change anything about it. Making them practically an appendix in an extension now... I don’t know, that idea contradicts me. The 60,000 additional costs from buying the house back then would just have been gone, so what? For that, you would have had a nice house for your soon-to-be family. What does your husband say about it? Is he also so enthusiastic about living practically under one roof with the parents-in-law? I would really take three steps back and think very carefully about whether this is the best decision for your family (your husband, your hopefully soon-to-be children, and you).
 

ypg

2019-11-12 16:21:27
  • #3


I think so. For example, it would be fiscally sensible if the parents then paid rent, which you would have to declare?! Then they have certainly paid into a long-term care insurance, which would also pay you as a caregiver again. Emotional stress, that still very agile age... something legal is certainly not developed there. Besides, you can't make smart decisions now for 20 years from now.

I see it that way too. The parents' house is their retirement provision... this provision is now supposed to be shifted somehow with an extension including the parents.



Laugh... me too. Well, I find it odd. It may be that they still belong to the inherited old people, that is, the old people who existed 100 years ago. Back then, you were old and used up at 60. Now we are talking about retirement at 69, the young are living longer and longer, many in their 70s are still very agile and do not think about giving up anything (freedom and home ownership e.g.), and most people at this age free themselves from being a burden to their children and reject family care. And you are right in the middle of taking all personal responsibility away from the parents.
 

RioRio19

2019-11-12 20:12:34
  • #4


No, we certainly do not treat anyone here as in need of care, but to turn a blind eye to the risk that it could eventually come to that is nonsense and negligent. I pray that my parents will be very well for a very long time, but both of them talk openly about what would happen in case of emergency.

And no, we have consciously decided against buying another house somewhere else. Apart from the fact that it would have been very expensive and money doesn’t grow on trees, we simply want to live next to my parents. Fact. And actually, the idea came from my partner. He once threw the idea out there because he actually gets along better with my parents than with his own.

I really don’t understand why so many here portray me so negatively and even attack me at times. My parents, my brother, and I are trying to create a situation that is a gain for everyone. If the family planning works out, my parents can also watch the kids sometimes, which would relieve us a lot (my parents are fit, yes!), my brother knows that my parents are super integrated with us and that there is still life in the house (they don’t have many social contacts), and my parents can rely on us to take care of them as they get older, as far as we can manage. Even if it is just shopping or helping around the house. We all get along very well and are simply trying to live together with my parents on one property. No idea what is wrong with that, and we don’t patronize anyone and no one is being pushed aside. But then we’ll probably better keep looking for a solution ourselves. The discussion is going in a strange direction for me with most here...

I would like to sincerely thank everyone who gave me good tips and food for thought.
 

ypg

2019-11-12 22:36:55
  • #5
No offense. But sometimes, I think people rush into something too early that they can't even calculate yet. I would suggest involving a family notary in your position.
 

RioRio19

2019-11-12 22:52:10
  • #6
Yes, exactly that's why I'm asking here. These are the absolute first thoughts and the initial proposal. You have to start somewhere. I never said that we already have a concrete path in mind.

I find it interesting how some topics develop their own momentum.
 

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