Financing with children, subsidies, parental leave, probation period

Children become expensive with school.

Not to be underestimated is the question of m/m, w/w or m/w?
With 3, 4 years old, for m/w, wearing old clothes no longer works; no 4-year-old wants to wear the older sister’s clothes and vice versa.

And yes. Costs at school soar exorbitantly. A normal class trip now easily costs 300 EUR and up. On top of that notebooks, books, materials... insane...

The question of m/m, w/w or m/w should not be underestimated either.
With 3 or 4 years, passing down old clothes doesn’t work anymore in m/w; no 4-year-old wants to wear the clothes of the older sister and vice versa.

And yes. At school the costs are soaring exorbitantly. A normal class trip now easily costs 300 EUR upwards. Plus notebooks, books, materials... insane...

So my girls are almost 9 and almost 11, and in our household used things have always been completely normal, so the kids don’t mind. They wear almost exclusively the clothes of a friend’s daughter, who sells them to us cheaply in huge packages. I am so, so grateful for that. It saves hundreds of euros. First the older one wears them, then the younger, and anything still okay is sold on. We also basically buy bikes for the kids only used. I often buy shoes that are like new or actually with tags from private sellers at a good price. You just have to keep an eye on it. With two kids, I can’t buy 10-12 new pairs of shoes every year. Winter shoes, half shoes, sports shoes for indoors and outdoors, sandals, slippers. That adds up.

But at some point it’s over, at the latest when puberty hits hard, then it gets really expensive.

Groceries + Restaurant + Drugstore 800€

I find the expenses for groceries quite high for that, though. However, drugstore items and pet food are also included in mine.

I don't find the approach too high and reasonable if you also cover eventualities with drugstore and groceries (beverages, medications). In 3 years after moving in, the oldest child will almost be starting school.
For example, we drink almost exclusively water. Others have different needs, which must be respected. That just costs a bit more. Also, having a beer, cocktail, or wine on your own terrace factors into the calculation. A slightly higher grocery budget can therefore cover something you don't want to save on.
Our grandchildren want their puree, Rotbäckchen drink, ice cream, and other things when they are here—just like at their own home. You only have to add that up...

On the topic of expenses: I find the expenses for groceries quite high considering your two children should hardly cost anything so far.

Pure grocery costs have been about €550 in recent months. Included in this are about €70 for eating out + €80 for drugstore + €100 rounded up due to foreseeable rising costs.
In general, all expenses in the calculation are provided with a small surcharge.

How much working time are you leaning towards after parental leave? You already have one child and might be able to roughly estimate.

It will tend to be 40-60%.

There are two questions that need to be answered:
1) Does the household budget work out for the bank?
A €1600 installment with a main income of €4100 is 39% of the income and thus less than the borderline recommended 40%. Should the bank consider it insufficient, it can be "filled" with a certificate from the employer regarding the post-parental leave period. Could the gap of a few months between the end of parental allowance and the end of parental leave maybe still be a problem?
Possibly still ongoing probation period will, as it sounds, not be a problem.

2) Can we manage with it?
Here we might need to adjust the household budget again or consider further scenarios that lie a bit more in the future than I did with the first calculation:

Income 1 after probation including holiday + Christmas bonus at tax class 4: average €4000
Income 2 after parental leave (assumption 50% position) at tax class 4: approx. €1300
Child benefit: €500
with 4/4 tax refund of approx. €2400/year => about €200 per month

Current expenses (excluding rent): €2500
Buffer youth-instead-of-child additional costs: €800
Loan installment: €1600
House additional costs: €500
Reserves for repairs: €300

Income: €6000
Expenses: €5700

-> Leaves €300 as buffer for additional costs and for special repayment. It’s not a lot, but it’s something.

For the transitional period of unpaid parental leave until we have two incomes again, the child buffer and building reserves drop out:

Income 1 after probation including holiday + Christmas bonus at tax class 3: average €4500
Child benefit: €500

Income: €5000
Expenses: €4600

-> Is okay so far as well

There are 2 questions that need to be answered: 1) Does the household budget add up for the bank?

The bank calculates differently, namely per capita for living expenses. This can mean financing for one person even though they have higher costs, for another it can be a no-go even though they spend less than average. You have to look at your own numbers.

There are 2 questions that need to be answered: 1) Does the household budget work out for the bank? €1600 installment on €4100 main income is 39% of the income and therefore less than the borderline recommended 40%

Only the respective bank can answer that for you. With our previous income of about €4700 plus €500 child benefit, we would have been financed with maximum installments between €1450-1650 by the banks we asked. At that time, we still had an education loan with €180 per month.