Building a home - The beginning is always difficult - How does it start?

Hello home builders,
we, a family of five (+1) from the far north, are currently at the very beginning of our journey towards our own home. That means the desire has been formed. Now it’s about exploring our options, finding the right path, and making sure we avoid as many potholes and dead ends as possible on the way there.
Since we are starting completely inexperienced, we are grateful for any advice that makes our path a bit safer, and every question is welcome that we should answer in order to move forward.

We are initially my wife (34), the kids (6, 9, 13), and me as the father and breadwinner of the bunch (36).
A possible 6th household member is my father (59), with whom we can imagine a multi-generational house with a granny flat.

I hope to find here experience reports, tips, and knowledge about the upcoming steps, but also to come across questions that simply have not occurred to us yet.

How did you start your journey? How did you move from the idea to action? What was the trigger and why did the decision ultimately turn out the way it did?

I look forward to your answers.
Best regards
Alex

Alex, first buy a piece of land. Since the house for so many people will not be small, look for 650+ sqm. Buy land that, if possible, is quite flat; as soil, a sand-gravel mix would be best. Once you have that, get in touch again, and we will continue. Karsten

What is your budget and how high is the income. We can give a vote on that

Given the age gaps between the children, I consider the desire for individual rooms to be likely—even if they are all of the same gender. In a single-earner household, I see the financial outcome being a needs-based house without princess gimmicks. That means street parking and no show staircase, neither an open space/gallery nor a Frisian gable, but probably a children's bathroom.

So to my delight, finally no "Jette with hip roof and Tuscan bay window" :)

Three children plus a granny flat are two points that do not suggest abundant options when browsing model house floor plans. In my crystal ball, your "son-in-law" is a local or regional provider—whether bricklayer or carpenter, it won’t hurt if you’re not "committed." Which will not prevent at least one person from writing that with children making noise three times over, your room walls absolutely must be made of sand-lime brick without alternative. But we’re not there yet ;-)

Think about your space requirements. Then your approximate house size will result. It helps first to find the appropriate plot size and to find a rough estimate for the house.

I recently came across the floor plan of the Ytong kit house "innovationshaus 240". 160 sqm plus 53 sqm granny flat. The upper floor might need to be reconsidered a bit. And of course, an actual plot of land needs to be checked. But, just as a start.