What can I realistically afford as a rate?

and there was a lot of feedback that it could be tight (which surprised me, I do not consider just under 4k to be little money).

With an income of €4,000, that would not be a problem either. It is not about your current income, but about the income during parental leave and afterwards. Your wife will not receive much parental allowance because a large part of the income consists of tips. This is currently positive for you because the tips are either not taxed or only partly taxed and are not considered by the expert, but for the parental allowance, they are excluded. After that, she will probably hardly work full-time, and thus the tips will decrease along with the income. To my knowledge, it is not unusual in this field to work evenings for acquaintances, relatives, and friends outside of the employment relationship. That will also become more difficult with a child. Additionally, I see the risk that due to the minimum wage and the associated price adjustments for a haircut, the willingness to tip may decrease slightly. In the worst case, this means that the total net income of the employees including tips may even decrease. But your wife can best assess that.

In my opinion, it really makes sense to first complete the master school, get married, have a child, accumulate equity, possibly keep a household budget, and then you can look into the house project again.

(what surprised me, I do not consider just under 4k to be little money).

Unfortunately not much for builders (in the range of 280-300k loan). Rather the lower end... 10 years ago it may have been different.

for builders (in the size range of 280-300k loan) unfortunately not much. Rather the lower end..it may have been different 10 years ago.

280k€ with 2.5% interest + 2% repayment results in a monthly total burden of 1050€. That is manageable with 3800€. You have to scale back your ratios a bit. Not everyone has your income and spending behavior.

If things went by your views, then we probably wouldn't have been allowed to build either. On one hand, we also don't have much more net income than the OP (but significantly more equity), and secondly, with both partners earning similar incomes, one salary would not be sufficient in the long term to maintain the standard of living.
You always make it look good by subtracting the low earner's salary. The loss of your salary (as the main earner), on the other hand, would have much quicker and much more dramatic consequences for the house.

Therefore, I did write "(in the order of 280-300k loan)" With 100k equity and only 180k loan, I also see 3800 net as significantly more relaxed. You compare your situation directly (with more equity) to that of the OP, and exactly this comparison is wrong. And why "my ratios"? The absolute figures don't matter. We have saved 30% equity + reserve together. Whether the 30% is now 50k or 300k does not matter. The OP still has 0% equity with a non-existent 25k and he should be grateful that people here write... who first save equity and then build. Much worse for him would be feedback like "go ahead.. I did that too.. it’s fine".

The loss of the main earner is a problem in every family where the wife does not also earn very well. That is rather rare. Here you can only try to create some security (life insurance, disability insurance, etc.).

Regards, Steffen

"280,000€ with 2.5% interest + 2% repayment results in a total monthly burden of 1050€. This is manageable with 3800€" --> what loan term are we talking about here?

As for my partner: She works in an upscale store where tips are always generous, and she would always work 30 hours a week, kids or not. That’s what I want too.

The fact is: We would manage the equity for the incidental costs in 2 years (this is the indispensable prerequisite for purchase).

However, I also consider the calculation: Does it make sense to save beyond the incidental costs, which takes years again? In the same time, I would save on rent, already repay the loan, and pay off our own property.

Well, I don't know. We and two other families in our circle of friends are all building with a loan of around 350k, each have around 80-90k in equity, and none of us earn more than 3500 net (each without wife, as on parental leave). For example, I only start again next year, part-time, and then we earn 4500 net, from which we can not only service the loan but also go on vacation, eat out sometimes, and so on. We have been keeping a household budget for over 2 years and have never been short of cash (currently paying rent of 1200€). No idea how you calculate here. @fresh That your partner wants to go back to work immediately after the child is really not certain. We women like to change our minds once we have our babies in our arms.