Too old for a home of your own?

Children and a passing trend? In my opinion, children belong to the cycle of life (otherwise none of us would exist anymore!).
My life is enriched by my children and I do not feel disadvantaged or restricted in any way! Life changes, yes – but one is actually aware of that. My life did not get worse because of it!
However, with your comments on that, it is really questionable whether you are suited to be a father. But that is off topic.

Well... I always try to imagine what I gain when I "acquire" something.
Example:
Car: mobility, independence, comfort
House: independence, autonomy (once it’s paid off), free design of my "living conditions"
Child: Hmm... yes... "cycle of life" is not exactly an "advantage" for me...

Whether I am suited as a father, I’ll leave open... My two little sisters have neither starved nor suffered any other way under my care.
I have also looked after this or that baby for a day or two, and none of them died or suffered any disadvantages because of me.
So I definitely see myself as capable of caring for a child without running around screaming in helplessness...

One-third of the construction sum (including land, ancillary building costs, and furnishing) should actually be saved at least

I already asked above how a bank sees this...
What exactly does the bank "finance" for me?
Does 100% financing cover only the pure purchase price of the house (i.e., material and working hours involved) or do the 100% also include broker fees, notary, taxes, possibly development costs, etc.?

How can I put this...
Example:
House construction (material + labor): €300,000
Ancillary building costs (whatever that includes): €50,000

Do I then have to provide €100,000 or about €116,000 for one third...
And does the bank then increase the rest to €300,000 or to €350,000?
I do not quite understand that yet...

For unforeseen events, one should withhold part of the equity AND also build reserves during the financing.
That means not only calculating installments, ancillary costs, and living expenses, but also a not too small savings rate!

How high should an appropriate savings rate be in your eyes?
Do you have a percentage value, or do you primarily base it on circumstances?
E.g., €3500 net, newborn, car, house (new build)...
That's roughly how I imagine the worst case...
What would be an appropriate monthly "reserve" in that case?

You are now informed about [Elterngeld]. Whether there will be a tax back payment can be calculated and accordingly planned for, for example by setting aside a part of it. But it is up to you whether to apply for it at all.

Additional construction costs see list in [Forum Baukosten].

And [Hartz 4] is a completely different matter.

You don’t necessarily need to buy new [strampler] and [kinderwagen] either ... .

@TE: I absolutely did not want to imply that you are unable to care for a child. Whether one wants children or not is a topic for partners. Definitely not here in the forum. It’s none of my business. But when it comes to financing and building/buying a house, you should know what is planned for the future. What it really brings is a completely different matter.

How high the reserves are definitely depends on income and lifestyle. But reserves are absolutely necessary.

milkie :)

Hello,

Child: Hm... Yes... "circle of life" is not exactly an "advantage" for me...

Completely off-topic...

Children primarily cost a lot of time, money, nerves, and primarily sacrifice. Don't you believe it? Remember your childhood and youth ;)

We have two grown-up children. Our "little golden house" is involved in raising both children; with one of them a bit more, as at the end of the education there was a diploma in biology. The first 2 years diapers galore, the clothes mostly secondhand because they outgrew them too quickly. Same with the stroller and buggy. But then it starts: at least 3 pairs of shoes per year for the clothes (no Deichmann shoes, proper footwear is important), if things go wrong and the child grows fast, everything times two. In kindergarten they also need special slippers and accessories like a bag, gym clothes, etc. Once at school, every semester a specific fountain pen and possibly a compass, the books and notebooks; later the calculator. I won’t even talk about small things like photocopy money or milk money. With secondary school, the fun with the teachers begins when organizing class trips. Suddenly it was quickly DM 500/600,00 gone for a week; without pocket money. The books that suddenly had to be paid by the parents also became more expensive. At university it was really brutal, we sometimes had to shell out DM 250.00 for a book.

Maybe a little vacation is also allowed - free yourself from the idea of finding a bargain. From kindergarten onwards, you are at the mercy of the holidays in your federal state... and the organizers take full advantage of that.

Pocket money also increases year by year - then the wishes for a tricycle, scooter, bicycle, a moped or later a driver’s license for the first own car. We solved the latter by having our children contribute their part; for example, delivering the church newsletter. This relieved our finances but above all helped both of them learn that spending money is easier than earning it ;)

My two little sisters did not starve or suffer in any other way under my care.
I have also looked after one or the other baby for a day or so and none of them died or suffered any disadvantages because of me.
So I definitely see myself as capable of taking care of a child without running around screaming helplessly in circles...

I have been in this situation for 3 years. And I enjoy it – I can hand my granddaughter back. You don’t do that with your own children. And let me tell you, once you have decided to be a father, you are one for the rest of your life. Forget about them being out of the house... :D

Still, I would always decide that way again; well, skipping one mistake or another, although certainly others would take their place. Children are something wonderful, they bring life into the house and keep you from doing stupid things; I don’t miss anything. And – as I realize more and more today; they keep me in the here and now. They force me to engage with the achievements (whether good or bad is aside) of the respective time; unconsciously, they make me a student again, keep my thirst for knowledge alive.

If you have done mostly everything right, you find yourself in a nest of cohesion, understanding for each other, and love. Priceless!

Rhine greetings

Hello
[...]
Regards

I guarantee you, you wouldn’t want to have my childhood/youth as a gift ;)
If we leave out the emotional component of having children, the bottom line remains a financial deficit ;)
I have a job that doesn’t allow me to become mentally isolated :) (I deduce this now from the passage "[...]they keep me in the here and now[...]")
I also deal with children professionally and I wouldn’t want to have any of my own :confused: Primarily, the parents are to blame for that, the children can’t help it...

I can’t fully understand your feelings because I don’t have children of my own.
I mainly think with my wallet, because you can’t raise a child on air and love alone (even if many don’t want to admit that) :(
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hater of children... I’m happy for everyone who can honestly and openly say "I made no mistake raising children!". Since I haven’t had time to really live yet, I don’t want to accept such significant cuts in my life yet...

But that’s not the point here... I wish everyone their guilty pleasure (whatever it may be)...

I thank you for the many tips and suggestions.
Thanks to your help, I now roughly know where I need to be financially so that the risk of failure remains within a reasonable range.
I will take your tips and suggestions to heart and think that in 5-10 years, nothing should stand much in the way of a solid financing of my own home (whether used or new build) :)

But the significant disadvantages that a child brings with them

But I have to intervene again. Financially, there's no arguing about it, a child costs a lot. But just as you nicely describe the benefit of a car being mobility, a child also has a benefit: It enriches your life! You must not only see it financially. But as I read from you, maybe you need a few more years to think like that? Maybe not at all, and that's okay too. In any case, I don't calculate my children in terms of money! The disadvantages that children bring are: No time for yourself, never any quiet in the house... But it is a joy, we are currently watching the videos from birth to almost 5 years old. Honestly, it brings tears to my eyes!!!

I think it was not written: You have to see 100% financing as all costs that are not paid when selling. For example, the property transfer tax must also be paid by the seller upon sale, so you obviously do not get reimbursed for this. The same goes for the notary, etc.