Defining the financial framework, recommendations on house sale / land selection / new construction

By the way, I find "euphoria" in most cases to be rather a bad advisor.

Not only that, you said it well!
I also get euphoric again and again when I design other people’s houses or plan floor plans here. I do it for others, but of course I also see some added value for myself that I would have with a new build.
However, I do not intend to build again – rather I am moving closer to the city into a large apartment, whether rented or bought.

What I wrote above was before I read #20.

We first had a terraced house, then the semi-detached house, and then the current house. We lived in the semi-detached house for 6 years.

That’s quite an unstable use of houses in a short time. Always an improvement through a more independent form of living, but “unnaturally conspicuous” over a short period. I just want to define that – without reproaches or anything like that. While many still believe in the “you only build once in your life.”

After building the house, I was able to almost double my salary, but I don’t have to explain that to anyone.

No, you don’t have to. That’s fortunate coincidence, skill, being at the right place at the right time, good career choice…

It’s rather the environment here.

Not the comfort zone, right? ;)

There is no reason concerning our house, rather the residential environment. Nowadays, we are (maybe only feeling it) practically watched. As soon as something new is acquired here, the neighbors and others already know before we can even look around and then ask, “Did you win the lottery or what, ohh, another new xxxxx, the best was ‘well now you’re just delusional,’ when I bought my car last year...

I’ll just leave that here for a moment.

significantly more affluent area.

Now we live in a rather low- or average-income district

I have to honestly say: I have never thought about what kind of village/neighborhood we live in. Whether high or low income.
That somewhat horrifies me.
But yes, a 12-year-old new development area here. Apparently no welfare recipients. Many high earners, but also many early retirees, seniors with a good budget, some well-earning families. Overall probably affluent. My husband and I do not belong to that. But we are not resentful either.

living in an environment where you are not even allowed the dirt under your fingernails.

Oha!

If you are considered a "big shot" in the neighborhood

We’re not even talking about it, we didn’t tell anyone that we were buying a new car or acquiring anything at all.

If you are considered a big shot in the neighborhood, it is usually because you don’t communicate well about it. Yes, you don’t have to explain your money, but opening up normally about finally treating yourself to the desired convertible that you’re going to pick up right away, that you now earn much better and want to afford this and that, maybe host a neighborhood party, that gives others the feeling that you don’t look down on them, that you are still one of the old ones, and so on.
If you keep silent, you also consciously isolate yourself. That escalates over time so that you feel watched because only envy lives around you, there is no basis for conversation anymore, and the social gap is practically lived out.

That can happen to you in the new environment as well.

Exactly. Not everyone who has money and shops in Mühlendingsda or wherever is elitist or lives an affluent lifestyle. Good coexistence requires other things like respect. Envy can also come from those who have money but do not know how to deal with it stylishly.
There will be someone in every street who is worse or better off.

Oh, for example becoming a start-up entrepreneur, getting elected to the local council, taking responsibility for a social project – there’s a lot that can serve as an alternative to being retired when the kids have already moved out – I can report on that, but I’m also already “56.”

Well, that’s now the definition of retirement. What I meant was not having to work anymore because you are financially secure. That you then do something else and don’t just lie in a deck chair was already clear to me.

Thank you very much for this interesting thread and especially for your own openness as well as for allowing and showing interest in the sometimes contradictory thoughts.

I think many of us have had/(already had) or will still have similar thoughts. After various confusions, we built a modern house here in a settlement in a Saxon cow village in 2020/21, so your thoughts/experiences are not unfamiliar to me. We differ at least by our older age in the settlement, then also a "different" house, electric cars, noticeably freer mindset and so you probably stand out, even though you actually just want your peace (at least that's what we think). In addition, I am still a "Wessi," which unfortunately still has an effect here; that my wife is an "Ossi" and that it doesn't matter to us at all probably helps little; people probably think we are simply rich typical) Wessi after all. I know some of these thoughts, since we have heard them in the original, but by now we live quite well with them. With the answer "environment," you basically answered many of my questions and I can also understand that.

I believe (but I am not sure) that at some point you extend your antennae further and maybe suspect more envy than there actually is. At some point, I almost didn't want to go shopping anymore to avoid hearing some stupid comment just because I was born in southern Germany. At some point, I realized that I was also becoming unfair in my thoughts and attributing thoughts to people, and I didn't want that either.

Whether it is this topic or rich/poor, black/white, or anything else, it is just the case that you can encounter narrow-mindedness everywhere, in the villa district as well as in the panel housing district; hence I consider the question about the type of building, bungalow or treehouse, rather secondary for you. Probably it is a useful exercise, at least worth a serious attempt, to critically examine your own attitude or your interaction with the environment and to find and practice ways to deal with it "harmlessly" or to grant it far less space. Maybe you also give yourself a certain, serious amount of time for this because no new construction project can protect you from strange circumstances.

If it really doesn’t fit anymore at some point, then the daughter is at least already about to leave the nest and you could even rent something nice to stay flexible and/or try out a suitable environment. How it will develop with your husband, nobody knows, not even he himself. Almost everyone imagines the circumstances of retirement differently than they actually will be. Even though we live here quite stylishly and very comfortably, we keep talking about possible or perhaps necessary changes and are also looking for the all-round perfect solution for our future living.

I find the mental movement important so that you don't become rigid when a really great opportunity arises at some point.

(...) You are not the spoilsport. My husband is a workaholic, he does not necessarily want to retire at 55, but his father passed away at 52, so he wants to at least keep the option open. (...)

You can also slow down in your mid-to-late 50s, it doesn’t have to be retirement right away. My plan is to switch to the public sector or to a quiet municipal utility (TvÖd, so practically also public service) in my early 50s... 60, 70 hour weeks in investment, I won’t be able to do that until retirement... Especially workaholics then fall into a very, very deep hole. You can’t do enough in your newly gained free time to completely fill that.

Why on earth do you have to retire at 55? Please reconsider... that would be important to me as a conclusion, now I'll keep out of this.

You don’t have to, but it opens up opportunities that working people don’t have. Retirement doesn’t mean sitting on the couch and doing nothing. Retirement means you can organize your life as you like. You can do voluntary work, help others, take care of your grandchildren, travel longer, you are simply free to decide. There is no daily grind.

Yes... but I think you help the children and grandchildren most by not retiring from working life at 55 and then drawing a pension for 30 years, but by continuing to work... because there are already far too few skilled workers now, and this will worsen if all the boomers think they have to leave at 55...

This will massively exacerbate everything... just my opinion, everyone has to decide for themselves. But this way we are heading into problems that cannot be solved, not even by recruiting skilled workers or anything else...