Living in the converted attic of the parents' house, now building a house???

Hello

My name is Timo, 26 years old, married and without children! But... with a dog :>

About 6 years ago, I spent 2 years finishing the attic of my parents’ house. Beforehand, everything was in shell condition and I renovated the apartment myself. I also financed it myself through my savings and my monthly income.

The apartment is about 115 m² and was renovated by me with a lot of attention to detail. I only used high-quality materials, etc... (Every month my salary went into that....)

Now the ceiling feels like it’s closing in on me... There are frequent arguments between us (my wife and me) and my parents, and I always have to hear “This is our property.” I can’t do anything in the garden and, in general, I really have no say here. I would love to have a fenced property so I can let my dog run alone in the garden sometimes... But I have absolutely no say here...

In hindsight, I regret renovating the apartment, especially since many thousands of euros and hours of work are invested in it...

What should I do now??? Just the thought of moving away hurts so much that I could cry... It’s unimaginable for me to leave this beautiful apartment behind... Besides, I don’t have to pay rent, only utilities... You actually can’t live cheaper... But I think I won’t be happy here in the long run...

What should I do???

@ Timo
I can well understand that.

We have a similar situation.
Our neighbor, ex-brother-in-law, and good friend of ours (all in one person) invested all his money in half a house owned by my mother-in-law and me. After that, my sister-in-law left him, and now he is alone in a 160m² apartment and is currently arguing with the mother-in-law through lawyers about whether he still has to pay rent for what he himself renovated or not.

Back then, we also considered renovating a 160m² apartment in the same house. Unlike the ex-brother-in-law, I wanted to have it regulated with contracts or make it a condominium property and buy it out.
There was no way around it. So we gave up and only renovated half with little financial means. And that was a good decision.
Even though the mother-in-law is not there permanently, there is still frequent trouble, so we will build ourselves now and hopefully move out next year.

Personally, I would eventually break down or end up in prison if I had to live permanently on the property with my mother-in-law.
That’s why it’s hard to give advice from the outside in this situation.
For the topic of contracts or something similar, it is unfortunately too late for you.
Would the possibility exist to rent out the apartment so that you could at least get some of the renovation costs back?
If not, do as we did. Collect enough equity during the "rent-free period" and then look for or build something of your own.
See the renovation as a collection of experience for your real project.

If I were you, you either have to accept it or bite the bullet. Have you ever talked to your parents specifically about the fact that you no longer feel comfortable, or is the relationship not that good? Maybe you still live rent-free for a few years and save capital for your own house. When you have a goal in mind, it’s not so bad to live in a less than perfect situation. You have to move away from "Oh, I feel uncomfortable here, but I don't know if that will ever change" and towards a decision. No matter which direction that decision goes.

But I think in the long term I won't be happy here.... What am I supposed to do???

Hello Timo, your answer is in your question. Since you unfortunately have little to show legally and also in the eyes of your parents, you should slowly come to terms with the idea of change. Learning the hard way is always tough and expensive. At first it hurts, but eventually you come to the realization that separation brings more friendship than clinging. This may also apply to your wife. Perhaps there can be a new start for both of you if there are no dominating parents living nearby. Maybe your parents would agree to pay you off, provided they can rent out your apartment to someone else. Breaking away requires distance; maybe you can talk to your parents about that... perhaps they will understand the problem... but it would have to be conveyed diplomatically without causing offense!