House construction for an unmarried couple

Hello everyone,

my boyfriend and I want to build next year. We are currently working on the financing... The situation is this: The property belongs to him, he is bringing equity, and I would "only" help pay it off. He wants to be registered solely as the owner of the land and house, and I’m supposed to basically pay rent and help pay off the house that way. In the event of a separation, I would definitely move out, since we are building in a tiny village right next to his parents' house, and I wouldn’t have any business being there anymore... For this reason, it is also almost impossible to sell the house after a separation, which in turn would mean he wouldn't have anything to pay me out. Now the question: Of course, in case something happens, I don't want to be left with nothing. Is there any way to get my money or at least part of it back if it comes to that? How can I protect myself? After all, I don't want to invest years of money and labor into a house and then end up with (possibly) a child and belongings with nothing at all.

This is all a bit complicated, but maybe someone has some knowledge and can help me...

Thanks in advance!

The situation is this: The property belongs to him, he is bringing in equity, and I would "only" be paying off the loan with him. He wants to be registered alone as the owner of the land and the house, and I am basically supposed to pay rent and pay off the house that way.

Counterquestion: If you live in a rented apartment and you pay off the apartment rent to your landlord for years, you end up with nothing either, right?

Are you also registered as a borrower? If yes, I would insist on a land register entry. If not and you only pay him rent, then you have no obligations.

I was in a similar situation. My ex bought an apartment where he was the sole borrower and was registered in the land register accordingly. I just lived there and paid rent. Personally, I didn't find it so bad, and it was very uncomplicated when we separated.

However, I would consider carefully whether I would also invest money in the apartment (terrace construction, garden work, etc.).

In case of a separation, he would have to pay child support – if you have the children – and possibly also separation or maintenance support to you anyway, regardless of whether he owns a house or not.

Hello,

so the first question is really whether you are listed on the loan. If yes, you will also have to be entered in the land register, but this can be a disadvantage for your friend. In case of a separation, you would then be entitled to half of the property. If you are not entered and invest a lot of money, you are naturally out of luck :-(

Please also consider that if you have taken out a mutual risk life insurance as security, as an unmarried couple you cannot inherit from each other – the share of your house (if you are registered) will then pass to your family. This also needs to be clarified.
Honestly, go to a lawyer.. we are also not married and got advice from a lawyer. We have now created a GbR contract and arranged everything in it (who contributes what, what happens in case of a separation etc....) Then everything is solid and afterwards there is no unnecessary trouble.

Best regards,
Naddl

Hello,

so the first question is really whether you are included in the loan. If yes, you will also have to be entered in the land register,

That is not quite correct. You can finance together, but only one person has to be listed in the land register. I wouldn’t want to recommend that to Dandan though, as she would have payment obligations to the bank but no rights.

Dandan, what does your gut feeling tell you? Let’s take option 1, only he buys and pays the bank: You separate after three years: it’s simple, like with Jaydee, you would have paid rent elsewhere for those three years anyway, so it can’t be offset. Option 2, only he buys and you separate after 10 years, you move away with an 8-year-old child and pay rent somewhere else. Option 3, you both have the loan, you move out at some point, pay rent somewhere else and also continue to service the loan. Option 4, the house is long paid off, after the silver wedding anniversary comes the midlife crisis… and you are left standing… “well, with what?”

One should definitely consult a lawyer about how it works, because at some point you might also get married, and then the protection might look completely different...

What happens if you move out… can he even afford the house on his own??

What does it look like when you move out... can he even keep the house on his own??

Then there will be a new show on RTL "House Owner Seeks Woman"

Joking aside.

First, 3 questions
1.: How long have you been together now?
2.: How long have you been living together?
3.: Are you planning to bring equity?

I would first consider how likely it is that you will stay together permanently or eventually separate.
If you have already been living together for 10 years, all peace, joy, and happiness, then the likelihood of a separation is rather low. If you just moved in together or there is already regular fighting, then of course the situation looks different.

I assume that if you are not liable to the bank for the loan, the interest rate will worsen, provided your boyfriend even gets a loan.
So one would have to consider whether it makes sense for you to co-sign the loan agreement or stay out of it. If you co-sign, I would insist on a land register entry as well.

If you really only pay rent, as suggested by your boyfriend, then the money is of course gone, just like with a normal landlord. How you account for/do offsets for your own contributions is up to you. Your equity could be provided to your boyfriend through a private loan and then offset against the rent payment.

Then there is a new show on RTL "Homeowner Seeks Wife"

Joking aside.

First, 3 questions
1.: How long have you been together now?
2.: How long have you been living together?
3.: Are you planning to bring equity?

I would first consider how likely it is that you will stay together in the long run or eventually separate.
If you have already been living together for 10 years, all peace, joy, and happiness, then the likelihood of a breakup is rather low. If you have just moved in together or there is already regular quarrelling, then of course the situation looks different.

Likely or unlikely.. this is about money!! That's when friendship and love end very quickly. And what will happen to the relationship in 10 years you can’t say today, even if today everything is peace, joy, and happiness.. Then the man / woman cheats and suddenly the harmonious "separation" is gone.

Be honest with yourself, this has nothing to do with "I don’t love you"... settle things before it leads to bitter disputes, expensive lawyers, and in the worst case, a forced auction.

I know you shouldn’t always expect the worst BUT friendship ends when money is involved