Build or buy – what can we really afford?

Hello everyone,

hopefully, we can finally become homeowners, but of what?
We are currently uncertain after various bank consultations about what we can really afford and want. Therefore, we hope for your help.
About us:
My husband (26) works in the public sector with 1950€ (parental part-time which will initially remain as is) and I (26) will also work in the public sector from August after parental leave with 2050€, 1 child, initially no more planned.
After very generous deduction of all our costs for a house and our life, 1300€ remain for a monthly payment. But HOW MUCH loan should we really take out? One bank talked about a maximum of 300,000€, the other about our net income multiplied by 120 (480,000€), what is really affordable?
Our equity is 30,000€ and we will get another 40,000€ from family.

We currently have a 20-year-old terraced house in hand, 130 sqm living space, 160 sqm plot, no basement, and it should cost 360,000€.

Or can we afford to build a house with ~125 sqm if the plot costs about 30,000€? NRW, very rural.

We are grateful for any tips.

Your information is all very rough.

Or can we afford to build a house with ~125sqm if the plot costs around 30,000? NRW, very rural.

I would say: if the ground is load-bearing and level, a standard house fits on it, you have some skill in flooring, and can do without a garage, then yes.
However, the location of the plot including infrastructure should suit you with a child and commuting to work.
I read from your post that you are quite modest. However, you must not come with "If I'm going to build, then do it right." Because then it gets more expensive.

With an existing property, the advantage is you see what you get. Send in an appraiser and know what to do. Otherwise, 300-350k is realistic with that income. Everything else is torture. Or are you making big leaps?

Our equity is 30,000 and another 40k comes from the family.

Are the 40k a gift or an interest-free loan?

So if you only have to pay €30,000 for the plot and the commute is not too far for you, you could then afford to build generously with €250-350k. It wouldn't be a big deal and would still be manageable with the additional purchase costs.

I would also like to highlight the topic of existing properties from another perspective: NRW, very rural -> The buyers will not be lining up here. This greatly strengthens your negotiating position. In other words: Negotiation should be possible here.