Buy yourself an Alexa! That is not the price for "such a smart home," but the price for a toy DIY solution when you obviously have no idea about current computers and software (what are you programming?). If you want to stick with ioBroker, I would really start with a Raspberry, the appropriate image, and the various (good) YouTube tutorials, e.g. by Matthias Kleine. Then you can have it running in less than an hour and practice with it, even if you only have rudimentary Linux knowledge.
I could go on for hours just about the "such a smart home." Luckily, I got a mindfulness course for Christmas :)
We already have Alexa. Later, I only want to use Alexa as an input interface but not to store any routines there.
I currently program databases in MS Access as well as automations for Excel and Word. So VBA. And yes, I am aware that this is not really a programming language for many people, but I can use it 100% directly for my work. And yes, I also have experience with other languages.
I do consume the mentioned channels. But increasingly, the videos or tutorials are outdated. For example, yesterday I set up my Raspberry Pi 2 with the ioBroker image. I couldn’t use my Zigbee stick (ConBee2) right away with the adapter "deconz." I had to install the software additionally. The tutorials then say "Start the software via the menu ...". Too bad if you want to use a "headless" Pi. This requires further research to run the software without a GUI. It seems no one in the "DIY" community is bothered that this fact is not mentioned.
"Smart home" is the umbrella term anyway. In my case, it’s first about learning the actuators and building the base.
You speak from my soul; I feel the same way about many technical topics on the computer. And that though I am in my mid-thirties.
In the software world, more and more half-baked components are being cobbled together faster and faster. What you see is the result. That won’t change in the near future; it will get worse. Many "modern" applications are basically just websites running in a Chrome variant. If you want to develop or compile them yourself, hundreds to thousands (!) of dependencies are loaded. Horrible. And no, all this container stuff doesn’t make it better.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution for you. Often, only alcohol helps and pushing through. Once you have made it and finally understood the necessary connections, then build the same thing again from scratch. That’s important so that the 30 futile DIY tips from the internet are no longer in the configuration and won’t break any update in three months.
And you already have to think about tomorrow today. For example, I set up a NAS years ago that can handle virtual machines (OMV). Among other things, a Windows runs on it with a DMS. I scan my documents with my document scanner and then push them into the DMS. So, quite a sensitive undertaking. The system isn’t connected to the internet and the software running on it is "outdated" but it just works. Only the hardware might someday have to be replaced.
For all the registering and passwords, there are password managers or the browser; that’s partially really exhausting. However, it’s worst if you don’t have anything "smart cross-device." Then you are really dependent on the manufacturers’ apps permanently. That way, you only have to log in once and usually never again afterward.
I already have a password manager – without it, I’d be lost. It runs in an encrypted container.