Hello,
....How can I build my house most energy-efficiently?....
By reducing the actual demand for heating and domestic hot water! However, you would need to know this.
For pure heating operation, it would formally mean minimizing transmission heat and ventilation heat losses (demand). It ultimately comes down to a PH. Whether this is actually economical for the specific individual case is a completely different matter. ;-)
The system must allow a high COP or, in the case of a heat pump, a correspondingly high annual performance factor.
For this, appropriate planning/dimensioning/design of all components is required!
For an "extra" above the legally required minimum conditions (Energy Saving Ordinance), there are various subsidies that more or less cap the additional investment costs, but do not fully compensate them.
Gifts simply are not handed out!
Best regards