Planning house construction and considering the desire for children

Hello,
I don’t know if I’m starting this thread in the right section, but I didn’t find a more suitable one.
Very often here you read about couples who plan and build their house before having children. Accordingly, the children’s rooms are planned (more or less naively).
That was also our case when we bought our house. Back then, we thought we would quickly fill the three children’s rooms. A few years later, we have to come to terms with the fact that we will probably never have biological children. Since adoption was an option for us from the beginning, we are still optimistic that we will have children someday. The path to this has already cost us quite a bit and it will cost even more; in the end, we will probably end up with a mid five-figure amount.
Since I have unfortunately had these unpleasant experiences, I would like to tell every OP building before having children that having children can take longer and be more expensive than planned. But of course, I don’t want to always be the bad mood maker. Unfulfilled desire to have children affects only/still (depending on how you see it) every 10th couple.
How do you see it? Am I too negative? Did anyone else have to make this experience?

I'm sorry for you! But yes, I think you are too negative. Ultimately, a child - God forbid! - can also die during birth or at a young age. Or you plan two children's rooms and in the second pregnancy, there are twins (didn't we recently have something here where [Umbaumöglichkeiten] were asked about). Ultimately, you can never know how life will turn out (unless you are planning to be childless at 50 and/or already certain). And what should you take away from the info (which you might already have yourself - we've discussed multiple times what to do with two children's rooms if it doesn't work out)? Should you then not build? Not plan for children's rooms? Have both examined beforehand by the gynecologist/ urologist? So what kind of reaction would you hope for or what do you want to achieve with it?

Unfortunately, I am now the factual type and will not go into ICSI and related topics further due to personal experience.

But yes, I think many couples who are building new homes are not aware that the children's rooms might remain empty. In my estimation, the vast majority are building for the first time like this.

Example 1: 2 children's rooms planned -> there will be no more than one

Example 2: Two couples our age, each planned 2 children's rooms, whether anything will come is questionable.

Example 3: He does not want / She wants (smoker & older), so nothing will happen

Example 4: Us, 2 children, 3 children's rooms planned -> most likely it will then be a toy room.

So what kind of reaction would you hope for or what do you want to achieve with it?

I’m not really sure, I thought I’d listen to other opinions on the topic here. You’ve definitely given some thought to the “what if” scenario... For example, some home builders are also cutting it close here; if there’s no money left for artificial insemination, I would find that very unfortunate.

Honestly, if the desire to have children becomes that strong and the money is not enough, you can surely always find some solution. From begging family to selling the house. I am a pessimist too, but some negative things can/should only be dealt with when they become urgent. Everything else just drives you crazy.

Unfortunately, I am the factual type now and will not go further into ICSI and so on based on personal experiences.

But yes, I think many couples who are building new are not aware that the children's rooms may remain empty. The majority, in my estimation, are building for the first time.

Example 1: 2 children's rooms planned -> there will be no more than one

Example 2: Two couples each - our age, 2 children's rooms planned, whether anything will come of it is questionable.

Example 3: He doesn't want to / she wants (smoker & older), so nothing will happen

Example 4: Us, 2 children, 3 children's rooms planned -> it will probably become a toy room.

Toy room sounds interesting ... hopefully lockable.