Financing house purchase - How much is possible, experiences?

General information about you:

Who are you? Unmarried couple M / F
How old are you? 33 / 30 years old
Are there children? Yes, one child expected by the end of the year
Are more children planned? Yes, another one in about 3 years
What do you do professionally? Strategic purchaser / senior police commissioner
How many hours do you work? 40 / 20 (after parental leave)

Income and asset situation:

What income do you have (net)? €4,315 (he) + special payments broken down monthly €500 / €1,967 (she 50%)
How much child benefit is there? €250
How much equity do you have? €190,000
How much equity do you want to invest in the house project? €150,000 – 160,000


Expense situation:

Housing costs:

Current warm rent €880
Electricity €70
Phone, internet, mobile €75

Mobility costs:

Car loan (or savings rate for a new car) €300
Insurance €55
Taxes €10
Fuel €250
Repairs €100
Is there a second car, motorcycle, scooter? Yes, insurance + taxes are not paid by us

Insurance costs:

Private health insurance €254
Liability insurance (including pets) €3.10
Capital or term life insurance Covered by employer
Pension insurance (including Riester, Rürup, etc.) My employer pays €3,240 annually into a company pension plan with a guaranteed interest rate of 3.25% (therefore no private insurance)
Disability insurance €130
Household insurance €10
Other insurances (e.g. travel insurance, funeral insurance)

Living expenses:

Groceries €600
Restaurant costs €150
Personal care / drugstore €100
Medicines €20
Clothing €100
Daycare / school fees (and meal money) €350
Club memberships / gym €120
Toys €50
Spotify & Netflix €30
Tickets €30
Miscellaneous €300


Savings:

Vacation €400
House
Retirement provision €200
Others (ETF child) €50

Income and expense totals:

Total income €7,032
Total expenses €4,237
Balance €2,795
Of which sum of cold rent and non-essential savings €880

Hello everyone,

My partner and I expect our first child together at the end of the year and are currently looking into what is realistically possible in terms of property given our income situation. We are not searching concretely right now; this concerns a scenario from summer 2026 onward, so the following should be noted:

Currently my girlfriend has an income of just under €3,000 net
She will receive parental allowance for 12 months, but the little one will only start daycare at about 18 months, so we will have roughly 6 months with only my income
I myself will take parental leave twice for one month each and reduce my income for that time
The available equity is calculated based on what we currently have + what we realistically can save additionally in these two years
Our housing situation will change in November to €880, currently we still live separately with a total warm rent of about €2,100
A new (used) car as a family vehicle will be bought in the coming months and paid in cash; this amount has already been deducted from the equity
The living expenses have already been calculated by me based on the situation with a child; how they actually turn out in practice we will see from January, I was rather generous here, I think

As mentioned at the beginning, my current goal is simply to gather experiential values about what experts from the forum and other private individuals consider realistic as a monthly rate (and possibly also total amount). I understand, of course, that the situation may be different in two years. I also have in mind that my girlfriend would take parental leave again with a second child (parental allowance €1,400).

That was quite a lot of information from my side; I hope someone reads all this through at all. I want to be as transparent as possible.

I am happy to answer any questions and look forward to your experiences.

Thank you.

Under the premise that your partner goes back to work (I assume with that job that this will always be possible), €2,500 + X is a possible and well-affordable installment.

Very concrete figures only when specifically asked.

P.S. Would also consider a wedding. It reduces the loss of income if the partner is not working for a while and stays home more for the child.
I would not include missing income for a certain short period in my considerations at all.

It is good to start thinking in time about the further development of your living situation. But as you already say yourself, your question doesn’t really make sense at this point in time, considering the many variables in your scenario. With a constant 7k net household income, I consider 3k per month to be affordable; the professionals here in the forum can give you a more solid answer. Do you want to build or buy something? Plot + new build including incidental costs could be tight despite an assumed 190k equity – depending on the region. Here with us, for example, you would already be financially out for a new build with only 300 sqm of land, since the plot alone would cost around 350k plus purchase incidental costs. In any case, I first wish you a healthy child; the rest is completely unimportant.

Maybe live together permanently first?

Just recently, such a couple in the circle of friends with a small child separated and beforehand turned two apartments into one condominium plus had a child

You will be living together soon and only building in 2026. Breakups can always happen, especially the construction phase and the first years in the house, when there is still chaos and not everything is finished, are particularly prone to that.

The cost of living is too low for my taste, especially with a child already included. Just look at how much a pack of diapers alone costs.
With Bürgergeld, 195 EUR are allocated for food and drinks for one adult, and you want to spend 250 EUR per person on that, plus a hundred for the child... I consider that unrealistic.

Apart from that, it will of course work with 7,000 net. I still wouldn't go over 35% of the net income for the rate.
With eventually 2 children and a house, your wife will stay in part-time for a long time, believe me...